Francis Trautman resides in the Carl Family Motor Lodge in St. Martin Parish, Louisiana, and also for long periods in the backseat of his '73 Chevy Impala. "Graveyard Frank" is currently working on his next project, a travel guide to East St. Louis, as well, as a script for an episode of NBC's "Watching Ellie." Please do not inform him that the program has been cancelled. He holds degrees in Semiotics and Forensic Entomology, both at the Mail Order University of Toledo, Ohio, in addition to an honorary PhD from the Businessmen's Association of Greater Baton Rouge. In his spare time, Frank enjoys his collection of porcelain unicorn and velvet pain tings of clowns [Not the sad ones!], and his turn-offs are legal action and girls who won't commit. His advice to young writers?: "Hop a bus. Join a cult. Kill a vagrant. It's just great literature. Period."

This is his story. Part of it. Probably.