Richmond Lattimore's classic translation of Homer's Odyssey begins with "Tell me, Muse, of the man of many ways..." But what is a "man of many ways," anyway? My son Pete, now in 8th grade, was assigned to read The Odyssey and unfortunately for him his expensive private school, entirely iPad enabled, only had access to an e-version of a 19th century translation, which was nearly incomprehensible to him. So I pulled out my old tried and true copy of Lattimore and lo and behold, right from the git go, I'd already gotten Pete confused with that murky "many ways" phrase. That's when I decided to retell it, for him. But not a literal retelling, and this is the catch. I decided to improv off of the given text and just go wherever the coolest thoughts led me. Cool from my point of view, and cool from Pete's point of view. And though I may be unfaithful to the text, I claim that, unlike our bearded hero, whose marble bust, eroded by time, you see in the picture above, I remain faithful to the "woman of many ways," Penelope. We'll find out why...