The Charismatic Coder
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The Charismatic Coder

The Software Developer's Guide to Social Confidence and Emotional Freedom

About the Book

Find out the essence of my methods to unlock your most charismatic self

Throughout the last years on, articles, emails, and a book emerged on how to create a fulfilling career for yourself by developing your emotional intelligence and working on your self-esteem.

Many software developers possess above average intelligence and skills, yet, they cannot move forward in their career.

Some developers over-analyze things, and hardly ever give themselves permission to be their authentic, naturally charismatic selves.

In this book, you will read about a pattern describing an attitude that works without having to comply to stereotypes, or having to learn useless (and often horribly stupid) phrases for your interviews.

Do introverts REALLY finish last?

People tend to generalize too much. If something didn't work out once, they often think, there is a problem with them. They are not enough. They are broken. They need to meet some expectations of others to be accepted.

This forced compliance towards some false expectations acts as a self-fulfilling prophecy, sabotaging progress.

Unfortunately, knowledge is not enough. Even if some developers know that they have false expectations, they may easily get confused on how to put theory into practice.

Believe me, chances are, I am a bigger introvert than you are. This only means that I recharge my batteries alone when I get tired. Being social, networking, and enjoying yourself in the presence of other people is still possible.

It may take years to get rid of false expectations

In this book, you can read my personal experience on becoming more self-aware, more present, and as a side-effect, becoming more charismatic. Going through these experiences help you become more balanced and free.

I am not saying this is the blueprint of becoming charismatic, because information overload would not solve anything anyway. You can access the most important fundamentals overlooked by most people. These people choose a path leading towards an unfulfilling and anxious life, no matter how much effort they put in.

"True self-confidence is a side-effect of high self-esteem. You build your self-esteem by living according to your values. Choose your battles, start small, and continuously expand."

About the Author

Zsolt Nagy
Zsolt Nagy

There were times when I was not conscious about my career choices at all. During my university years, I was far too busy with my studies and with an EU funded research project. While writing my thesis, I earned more than the average starting salary of MsC graduates in my country. When things are going so well early in your career, believe me, you won't start thinking about the next step. 

This proved to be a mistake. I started my job interviews just a couple of months before graduation. I only had a resume, and some references on a research project. I also happened to be a below average communicator. 

Even though I could choose from many options, none of those options seemed to be too lucrative. Having realized my awkward position, I chose the path of maximum responsibility, and joined a tech startup. The trade-off for excellent working conditions was bad pay. I kept on telling myself that I deserved more. Truth is, I deserved exactly the amount that I was able to negotiate. Back then, I didn't accept these facts, and was waiting for others to give me a raise whenever they praised me. A simple strategy destined to fail. 

Software developers are in high demand, as there is a shortage of good professionals all over the world. I asked myself, come excellent developers still waste their talent by working for companies that don't respect them financially or professionally? 

Throughout the last ten years, I have been continuously improving my tech skills as well as my soft skills. These improvements have enabled me to assume Team Lead and Technical Lead positions. Above all, these skills have enabled me to work with the companies I want. I encourage you to do the same. 

For more, visit my website,

My technical blog is about developing maintainable web applications using JavaScript. Read it on

Table of Contents

  • Introduction
    • My Story
    • Your Journey
    • What you can expect from this book
  • 1 Discovering Your Charismatic Character
    • Defining Charisma
    • Focus
    • The Roles We Play
    • The Victim Role
    • What Are Your Character Strengths?
    • Values and Charisma
    • Discovering Your Own Values
  • 2 The Courage to Live Your Values
    • The Cost of Living Your Values
    • Hacking True Self-Confidence in Your Career
    • Confidence, Ego, and Narcissism
    • The Courage to be Vulnerable
    • Integrity
    • Exercising Your Boundaries
    • Reading List
  • 3 Escaping the Charisma Paradox
    • Defining the Charisma Paradox
    • The Science of Flow
    • Social flow
    • The importance of enjoying the process
    • The Importance of Character Traits
  • 4 Habits - The Cornerstones of a Charismatic Life
    • Your Habits
    • How will I make time for all this?
    • Sports and nutrition
    • Meditation
    • Arts, dancing, vocal coaching
    • Acting and Stream of Consciousness
    • Therapy
    • Fashion and Grooming
  • 5 Reaching Emotional Freedom
    • The reward of getting rid of limitations
    • Understanding Limiting Beliefs
    • The ABCDE method
    • Self-awareness and Transformation
    • Exercise: calm your inner critic
    • Conditions for emotional change
    • Limiting beliefs and your communication
    • Inner and Outer Approaches
    • Integrating all the tools
  • 6 Total Social Freedom
    • Training versus Trusting Mindset
    • The source of social anxiety
    • Interviewing skills
    • Asking for a raise
    • Presentation skills
    • Time management and estimations
    • Small talk, rapport, first impression
    • Humor
    • Speaking from the heart
    • Leadership
    • Setting Boundaries to Shield Yourself from Limiting Beliefs
    • Summary
  • 7 The Science of Storytelling
    • The Benefits of Storytelling
    • Emotions and logic
    • Calibrated Storytelling
    • Defining a story
    • Story Structure
    • Storytelling in Job Interviews
    • Summary
  • Notes

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