A bid to comprehend disastrous events from afar gives way to an honest, intimate, jarring, and kinda loco memoir in this notably one-of-an-order portrait of a (previously) quiet & reserved saint/sinner. 

Tautologizing to the uttermost, Valerie unwinds topics of all sorts and takes them to a Source she typically sees as superior but struggles to respect when the stuff she senses seems to be regurgitation of people's platitudes vs. originated from the Only Persistently Right Spirit that transforms and saves and restores us.

Phrased partly as a questioning but quixotically persistent prayer and partly as a panoptic perspective into reasons for the paradigms and opinions that are - purposefully or unpremeditatedly - revealed whenever prayer pushes past the point of polite platitudes - this piece pulls parts from read and recollected stories into a taller tale that she takes to be truth.   

Take turns skimming and studying this strange read that in places resorts to sound because sometimes searching the thesaurus simply isn't sufficient to tell a story solo.   Even so, a song may serve as a salve in some circumstances; but typically there is no trick, no song, no thought universal enough to very well exemplify yearning.  "Zeal" accepts that as assumed and asks anyway that you ask for breakthrough from a creative Being named Abba, Burden-Carrier, Daddy, Ever-lasting Father God, however intimidating that invitation is.  

I have a good feeling that God can handle your intimately justifiable incredulity of His goodness, hang-overed/ingrained horror at guesstimated heresy, and other hurdles to having an honest and gracious friendship with the extremely different Creator that captivated me.  May this creation beckon you too to copycat the Designer you were created to be connected with.      

Sincerely,

Valerie Lukens

Valerie began this ambitious acrostic before comprehending the definition or the cool bit that Biblical authors also aligned big bits with their alphabet (albeit this has a bit more alliteration because the cloud is a brilliant assistant!)