Norway is weird. It is a beautiful place with a high standard of living, clean streets, nice, beautiful people, and also at the same time hard to understand, can seem rude to foreigners who do not understand the "rules" and can feel cold and unfriendly for many immigrants.

This book is my ironic view of things, that has helped me to enjoy all the great stuff about living here, and learn to accept, or at least understand and work around some of the things that I found hard to deal with.

If you are coming to live here, like I did, with my wife and three kids, you are going to have quite a culture shock.

This book sums up my observations and life lessons in my first year in Norway. These are all things that you will have to learn the hard way as you live here, so you might as well be prepared mentally by reading this book.

• If you do not plan to live in Norway,this book will allow you to rationalize your excuses not to do it.
• If you are an immigrant in Norway, even better. This book will be what you send to people who ask you "why the fuck did you come to Norway?", when you're tired of telling them "Money!".

Basic outline:

This book will be laid out as a set of rules I imagine norwegians live by:

1. Lunch rules: Brown Cheese and Quiet Lunches

2. Friendship rules

3. Public Behavior Rules: Silence is golden

4. Work Environment rules: Work much?

5. Time off Rules: Play much?

6. Shopping Rules: The hive culture

7. Parking Rules: A whole chapter about parking

8. Weather Rules:

9. Neighborly Rules

10. Service Rules

11. Vehicle Rules: A green country running on diesel

12. Rent Rules: Rent is HOW MUCH?

13. Drinking Rules: