1. The Letter

Dear Friend,

I know exactly what you are struggling with. This was an affliction for me during my teenage years until a pastor “showed me the ropes” of victory over sin. Using these Biblical principles, God not only gave me complete victory over masturbation long before I was married, but He also gave me victory over an impure thought life. I was so transformed by God’s Spirit in the renewing of my mind (Rom. 12:1-3) that even my dream life was transformed. Instead of engaging in sin during my dreams, I found myself resisting the world, the flesh and the devil using the same Biblical principles that I used during the day. I praise God for the “much more” passages of Scripture!

For where sin abounded, grace abounded much more. (Rom. 5:20)

The ministry of righteousness exceeds much more in glory. (1 Cor. 3:9)

How much more shall the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered Himself without spot to God, cleanse your conscience from dead works to serve the living God? (Heb. 9:14)

What Masturbation Is and Is Not

Genesis 38:9 is not a reference to masturbation. It is an ungodly attempt to avoid children altogether and a violation of a covenant promise. Masturbation is actually not mentioned in the Bible, but principles of Scripture do apply. In this letter, masturbation will be defined strictly as any kind of self-satisfaction of the sexual impulse that does not depend upon one’s married partner. Manual satisfaction of a married partner is not wrong, nor is receiving such from your spouse (see Song of Solomon).¹ Such ministry to each other draws couples together in mutual dependence whereas self-satisfaction shows no dependence upon the spouse and drives partners apart in terms of psychological need. Paul’s instructions about sexuality in 1 Corinthians 7 indicate that one must depend upon one’s spouse for sexual enjoyment or release. But Song of Solomon shows that there are more ways than penetration in which this can be done. So to repeat, masturbation is self-satisfaction sexually without recourse to and dependence upon one’s spouse.²

Why Is Masturbation Wrong?

Though there is debate on this question, let me give you six very summary reasons why masturbation is wrong.

It is wrong if it controls you or you are enslaved by it

All things are lawful to me, but all things are not helpful. All things are lawful to me, but I will not be brought under the power of any. (1 Cor. 6:12)

The first principle is that masturbation can be very enslaving. Counselors regularly see young people so tangled up in masturbation that they can hardly think about anything but sex all day long. And the more they engage in masturbation, the more they depend upon it. And the more they feed it, the more they are trapped by it. They are caught up in a vicious circle that becomes worse and worse.

It is wrong if it is accompanied with heart adultery

You have heard that it was said to those of old, “You shall not commit adultery,” but I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (Matt. 5:27-28)

It is extremely rare that a person can masturbate without fantasizing about a sexual relationship with an imaginary person. In fact, far from making such fantasizing go away by satisfying the physical sexual cravings, masturbation leads to a habit of more and more fantasizing. This habit is almost always carried into marriage where it causes further harm. James 1:13-15 says that such internal sins eventually lead to external sins. Wherever there is this sexual fantasizing there is sin. The bulk of this letter will deal with how to gain purity of thought.

1 Corinthians 7:9 seems to rule out masturbation

But if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. (1 Cor. 7:9)

Paul’s options in this verse are not that it is better to masturbate than to burn. The interesting thing about masturbation (as with all sinful deviations) is that it does not put the fire out, but only adds fuel to the fire of sexual desire. Masturbation was not an option for Paul. The only two alternatives that Paul sees are self-control of the burning or else godly marriage. By the way, there is just as much need for self-control in marriage as in singlehood because a man does not always have the opportunity for sex when he wants it in marriage (the wife may be sick, tired, away, etc.). But the unique thing about marriage is that in a godly, unselfish, giving of sex in the marriage relationship, the sexual desires are satisfied without being stirred up into greater flames. This is not true of homosexuality or of perversions in marriage or of extra-marital affairs. Sinful, “kinky” sex feeds the sinful passions into flames that desire ever more “kinky” and far out sexual experiences. Paul is not saying that getting married will satisfy sinful desires. The context of the chapter deals with godly, unselfish marriage, as the next principle is one example.

Paul says you don’t have sexual authority over your own body; your wife alone does (1 Cor. 7:3-4)

Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. (1 Cor. 7:3-4)

[Note: even if ἐξουσιάζει in verse 4 is translated as “right” the same conclusion is reached — “A wife does not have the right over her own body, but her husband does. In the same way, a husband does not have the right over his own body, but his wife does.” (HCSB)]

This is saying that all sex is to be self-giving, for the benefit of the other person. (You receive in giving.) But under no circumstances should we think that we have control over our bodies to do with them whatever we want. Our sexuality belongs to our future (or if married, our present) partner, not to ourselves. Masturbation in contrast to proper sex is an individual use of sex. It is solitaire sex rather than what God intended — partner sex with your husband/wife. (Note that there are circumstances where the husband may sexually satisfy the wife and vice versa without sexual penetration. This is not masturbation since it is dependence upon the partner for satisfaction (see Song of Solomon).³ There is also no reason why one partner can’t satisfy the other’s sexual desires without wanting to be satisfied himself/herself. This is still mutual care (or as Paul words it “affection”) for each other, though not necessarily mutual orgasm.)

If it cannot be done in faith (Rom. 14:23) to God’s glory (1 Cor. 10:31), it is sin

But he who doubts is condemned if he eats, because he does not eat from faith; for whatever is not from faith is sin. (Rom. 14:23)

Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. (1 Cor. 10:31)

Whatever is not done in faith with a clear conscience (Rom. 14:23) and whatever is not done to the glory of God (1 Cor. 10:31) is sin. This addresses the issue of guilt that most people have when they masturbate. If a man honestly asked himself if he was glorifying God through his masturbation and if he was doing it in faith, it is doubtful that he could answer yes.

Contrary to popular opinion, masturbation is not needed for “release”

God has already provided a natural way to get rid of the tension in men. Deuteronomy 23:10 speaks of it as a “nocturnal emission” (cf. NIV, ESV). Some refer to this as “wet dreams,” but through meditation and prayer anyone can be rid of the dreams and have the nocturnal emissions without the dreams. God can control the dream life too!

How May We Overcome Masturbation and Impure Thoughts?

Many think that it is impossible to gain victory over impure thoughts and over masturbation, but the following steps have helped numerous young men gain complete victory.

Don’t be Double Minded

First, you must be convinced it is sin (see previous point). The double minded person cannot operate in faith (James 1:6-8) and therefore cannot overcome sin (James 4:7-10). Satan will try to get you to believe it is not sin (temporarily) and will then beat you up once you commit the sin. You will thus be thrown back and forth by His lying tactics. Let the Word of God define sin, not the enemy. You must start out on a sure foundation.

Confess and Commit

Second, having acknowledged that it is sin, it is important to confess it to God and renounce it. Proverbs 28:13 says, “He who covers his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.” This is a point at which Satan will try to make you miserable, especially after repeated failures on your part. When Satan will try to make you believe that you can’t be forgiven, lay claim to 1 John 1:9 — “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” When your sins are put under the blood of Christ, they are covered (the meaning of atonement) and they are removed from you as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12). Micah 7:9 promises, “You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea.” Satan will try to deny it, but you can lay claim to the “all.” Satan will try resurrect your repeated failures, but it is important to appeal to Micah 7:9 and put up a “No fishing” sign.

Ask for God’s Strengthening Power — Lay Claim to His Grace

Having confessed your sin, you can get up immediately and find renewed grace for the fight. Beating up on yourself does not earn God’s favor. Only Christ’s grace could do that. So ask God for the grace that he promises to those who have humbled themselves. Scripture says that God blesses such humility:

But He gives more grace. Therefore He says: “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. (James 4:6)

Make Affirmations of Faith — Put Off Negative Affirmations

You must be convinced that overcoming sin is possible and is a mark of a Spirit-filled Christian (Rom. 6:14; 1 Cor. 6:9-11; 1 John 5:4-5; 3:9). Satan will try to discourage you and rob you of faith at this point by suggesting all kinds of excuses. But you have already been blessed with every spiritual blessing in Christ (Eph. 1:3), have been seated with Christ in the heavenlies on His throne (Eph. 2:6) and have been given everything you need for life, godliness and escape from lust (2 Pet. 1:3-4). I strongly encourage you to put off all negative affirmations (which kill faith) and to replace them with Biblical affirmations (which build faith). Revelation 12:11 assures us that the saints “overcame him [Satan] by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony.” The affirmations of faith at the end of this letter are a great way to submit to God and to resist Satan. “Submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you” (James 4:7). These affirmations will help you to resist every excuse for why you can’t do it (negative affirmations that destroy faith) and to build a strong faith in God’s power.

Engage in Spiritual Warfare Prayer — Abide in Christ

Daily engage in spiritual warfare prayer. This is crucial. Jesus said, “Without Me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5). Prayerlessness is a form of pride that in effect says, “I can do this on my own.” But since God “resists the proud” (James 4:6; 1 Pet. 5:5), we are in a helpless situation when we are prayerless. (You not only have the flesh, the world and the devil opposing you, but God Himself! Not good!) John 15 also calls us to abide in the vine, Jesus. Apart from abiding in Christ, all you will produce is Pharisaism. I will include an appendix with some spiritual warfare prayers that you may find helpful. They will model for you how to pray the Scriptures in faith and find supernatural union with Christ. I especially encourage you to pray the prayer for the filling of the Spirit.

Memorize Scripture

You need the Scriptures to gain victory. Jesus said that the Word of God is His means of sanctifying us: “Sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth.” (John 17:17) We cannot bypass God’s means of Scripture and hope to gain success. Psalm 119:11 says, “Your word I have hidden in my heart, that I might not sin against You.” 2 Timothy 3:16-17 says that the Scriptures are sufficient to make the man of God complete and thoroughly equipped for every good work. Hebrews 4:12 says that “the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword.” We need to have a total faith in the power of God’s Word to change us. But until we start memorizing Scripture, we won’t have the weapons needed to take on the flesh, the world and the devil. In using the Scriptures, use them prayerfully. Claim the promises of Scripture in your prayers. Turn the Scriptures into prayers. Here are some sample Scriptures you could start with. Many more are included at the end of this letter.

I have made a covenant with my eyes; why then should I look upon a young woman? (Job 31:1)

Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world. (1 Pet. 5:8-9)

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. (Phil. 4:8)

Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. (Phil. 3:13-14)

But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts. (Rom. 13:14)

No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it. (1 Cor. 10:13)

Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. (2 Tim. 2:22)

Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am tempted by God”; for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone. But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death. (James 1:13-15)

Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls. (Heb. 12:1-3)

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)

Meditate on the Word of God — Guard the Mind

But it is not enough to memorize the Word of God. We must also develop the discipline of meditation. Here are some Scriptures which promise success when we meditate on Scripture.

This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go. (Josh. 1:8-9)

But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and in His law he meditates day and night. He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever he does shall prosper. (Psalm 1:2-3)

Meditate on these things; give yourself entirely to them, that your progress may be evident to all. (1 Tim. 4:15)

Meditation is more than just memorizing Scripture. A writer from 300 years ago described meditation as being like a cow chewing its cud. A cow will chew grass and store it in one of its stomachs. Later it will lie down and burp up little balls of grass and chew it slowly at leisure. It has several stomachs, and keeps burping up cuds to chew until the grass is so thoroughly dissolved that it can take the nutrients in. That’s what we need to do with Scripture. The first step is eating the grass by memorizing and storing Scripture in our spiritual stomach. The second step is to begin trying to understand it. The third step is chewing on the Word. This means having it go over and over in our minds and applying each word to our present circumstances. It is sucking the passage dry. We can have that Word going through our minds when we are driving, when we are drifting off to sleep, when we are waiting at a stop sign. By meditating we are slowly wearing down our own sinful patterns of thinking and beginning to think God’s thoughts after Him. Meditation is an effort to give ourselves entirely to the Word of God. 1 Timothy 4:15 says, “Meditate on these things; give yourself entirely to them, that your progress may be evident to all.”

Personal Testimony on How I Used This to Resist Satan

Let me give my personal testimony on the power of meditation: When I was 19 years old I struggled and struggled to gain purity of thought. My friends would tell me not to worry about it since no one can avoid lusting in their minds and no one can have pure dreams. But I didn’t want to settle for what others thought could be accomplished. I went to my pastor in Three Hills and told him how I had been trying to throw evil thoughts out of my head, but I just wasn’t able to succeed. He told me that I was doing three things wrong:

1) First, I was trying to throw evil thoughts out without replacing them with good thoughts. He said that the mind is like a vacuum, and it will suck a thought back in if it is not replaced with something else.

2) Second, he told me that I was trying to get rid of demonic temptations in my own strength, and that my strength was no match for Satan’s. Instead, he told me to do as Jesus did when He was tempted. Jesus repeatedly said, “Get behind me Satan, for it is written,” and He would proceed to quote an appropriate Scripture with which to resist Satan. Always use the authority of God Himself (through the Word) when resisting Satan.

3) Third, he told me that habits of thought need to be replaced with new habits of thought. And he showed me how meditation was a powerful tool for wearing down the old thought patterns and replacing them with the new thought patterns. This was the process of renewing the mind in dependence on the Spirit.

Since Philippians 4:8 tells us to meditate on those things which are just, pure, lovely, of good report, virtuous and praiseworthy, he told me to start memorizing verses that were the opposite of what I was wrestling with. Once I had memorized them, he told me to go over and over those Scriptures until I had sucked everything out of them that I could. It would wear down the old thought patterns and make me begin thinking God’s thoughts after Him. It would develop habits of thinking so that the moment a temptation would come, the Scriptures would kick in. He told me to pray those Scriptures, affirm those Scriptures as statements of faith, and to resist Satan and my flesh with those Scriptures. He told me to do like Christ did, and to say out loud, “Get behind me Satan, I will not think such thoughts because God’s Word says” and then to start quoting those Scriptures.

I started to diligently do this, but to my discouragement found that the mental pornographic temptations got much worse. I went to him and said, “It isn’t working. It seems I have worse images coming to my mind, and more frequently.” The pastor told me that Satan will do everything he can to get me to quit. He encouraged me to persevere, assuring me that Satan will eventually give up when he sees that I won’t back down. I persevered, and sure enough, after three weeks, the temptations stopped. I grew lazy and stopped meditation and they came back. I started the process again, and the temptations disappeared. This happened several times until I realized that I needed to make this a life-long habit. And it did eventually work. My mind became pure during the day and eventually even my dream life at night was cleaned up. I applied this renewing of the mind to conquer anger, fear, envy and other evils. And I found meditation on God’s word to be a powerful tool to renew the mind and give me holiness.

Be Serious! Be a Soldier!

But this testimony shows how half-hearted measures can never defeat Satan. You must be serious about overcoming the sin. If you are serious, you will be willing to take the time to plan on how to avoid the sin, and expend the energy to implement it. You will also be willing to go through the hassle of following through in a disciplined fashion. God never said that overcoming sin was going to be easy. By analogy, God gave the ancient Jews the land of Canaan and guaranteed their victory. He promised to fight for them, but He did not promise to fight instead of them. Conquering Canaan would require sacrifices, pain and wounds. It would be a real battle. Unfortunately, many Christians are not willing to have inconvenience in their pursuit of holiness. But that is a sure recipe for defeat. The writer to Hebrews talked about real seriousness in overcoming sin when he said, “You have not yet resisted to bloodshed striving against sin.” (Heb. 12:4). (Please do not commit suicide! He is using a metaphor of how hard you fight!) The writer was taking the imagery of a soldier engaged in battle. If a soldier is defeated, but he shows no evidence of close combat, the officer won’t take him seriously. He will ask, “What fight? Where are your wounds? You’ve given up the fort without a battle! I want to see either the enemy’s blood or your blood.” In the same way, a real soldier of Christ is willing to resist sin no matter what the cost. This may be a Scripture that you want to memorize.

Make Sure You Are Fighting the Right Enemy

Make sure you are fighting the right enemy. The enemy is not your body. Some church fathers castrated themselves, cut themselves, made themselves sick by sleeping in the cold and not eating well, and beat themselves with whips in order to subdue their fleshly desires. That is not God’s way. The problem is not in having sexual drives (those are God-given). The problem is in using them in a way that God did not intend and of the failure to subdue the sinful desires of the heart. A man or woman can have arousal without for a moment giving in to lust or even having sinful desires. One must focus his attack upon “taking off” the old sinful habits and desires and “putting on” new righteous habits and desires.

Exercise the Same Discipline as Needed in Sports

Modern Christians need to learn self-discipline. Paul said, “But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified” (1 Cor. 9:27). Paul was concerned that his disciples learn discipline over the sexual appetites of their bodies “so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control” (1 Cor. 7:5). Even within marriage such self-control is needed. It is one of the essential links in the chain of sanctification that is listed in 2 Peter 1:5-8:

But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Jay Adams said this about self-discipline:

Literally, teaching by discipleship… but comes to mean well-regulated, practiced thinking and behavior that leads to godliness (cf. 1 Tim. 4:7). Many, if not most, counselees lack order, regularity, scheduling, and planning in their lives; in short, they lack discipline. A principal problem in helping counselees to solve other problems is their undisciplined way of handling them. So it is essential in nearly every case to help counselees to become disciplined in their lives, even when that is not the major problem.⁴

This self-discipline involves having a strict schedule. Do you schedule when to get up and stick to it? Or do you hit the snooze button? Is your whole day scheduled (entertainment, work, eating, fellowship, worship, going to bed, etc.) or are you simply spontaneous? Whenever there are addictions, it is imperative for people to follow a tight schedule.

Self-discipline also involves doing duty before desire. It involves self-denial. It involves a willingness to face discomfort. It involves a denial of curiosity. It involves avoidance of laziness or gluttony. Many sexual addicts who have finally overcome their addictions have stated that old sexual desires began to arise when they engaged in gluttony or spent hours in front of the TV. There is a close relationship between self-discipline in every area of life and success in conquering sexual sins. When did David fall into his sin with Bathsheba? It was after he stayed home from battle and was walking around his rooftop with nothing to do (2 Sam. 11:1-2). It also flowed from failing to guard his eyes (v. 2), curiosity (v. 3) and getting close to sin (v. 4). I highly recommend that you begin a daily regimen of 1) physical exercise, 2) Bible memory, 3) devotional life, 4) ministry and 6) scheduled living.

Engage in Occasional Times of Fasting

One discipline that has been especially useful for saints has been fasting from food. This deliberately puts your body into a position where it has great desires, but in a controlled way, you are saying “No” to your body and training it to be in control. The great Presbyterian theologian, Charles Hodge said, “All eminently pious persons have been more or less addicted to this mode of spiritual culture.” Jeremy Taylor said, “He who would recount the benefits of fasting, might just as well, in the next page, attempt to enumerate the benefits of medicine.” Augustine, Calvin, Luther, Jonathan Edwards, Owen, Flavel and many, many others have joined the testimony of Scripture in saying that there is a close, close connection between fasting and spiritual victory. When you fast because of sin and you pray for victory over a given sin you are in effect saying what Job said: “I have treasured the words of His mouth more than my necessary food.” You are in effect saying, “Lord, I would rather go hungry than to let this sin get me again.” David said, “I humbled myself with fasting” (Psalm 35:13). It has the power to crucify pride. Paul said, “But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified.” Fasting is a means of disciplining the body and keeping its desires under control. Many authors have testified to the relationship between gaining control of the urge to eat and beginning to have less and less temptations sexually. One person said,

The beneficial results of the fast are felt first in the sexual sphere. I have easily verified the connection established by the Ancients between the first two “principal vices, gluttony and lust, and consequently between the corresponding disciplines: fasting and chastity… It will surprise no one if I confess that I am subject to anxiety and irritation, sadness and nervousness, to say nothing of vanity, touchiness or envy. The habit of fasting effects a profound appeasement of all these instinctive movements.⁵

Fasting is a spiritual aid to subduing all sinful desires and so David said, “I chasten myself with fasting.” (Psalm 69:10). One version had it, “I mortify myself with fasting.” I die to self and become alive to the Spirit. Pure Life Ministries makes this an essential element of their successful program of getting porn addicts out of their sexual bondage. I highly recommend fasting once a week until you gain victory in your sexual life.

Find Two Accountability Partners

Another helpful thing for those who are engaging in porn, masturbation or other enslaving things is accountability. Hebrews 10:25 says, “not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.” In context, the writer is saying that this accountability helps to keep us from falling into sin. Share your struggle with a besetting sin with a mature believer that you respect, and ask him to 1) pray for you regularly 2) ask you how you are doing in this area when you get together. This alone has been a huge help to many people.

Since porn often goes hand in hand with masturbation (though not always), I want to address a new form of accountability in that area. I highly recommend purchasing a license from www.CovenantEyes.com. This site does not block any pornography. Instead, it sends a weekly report to two accountability partners with whom you regularly meet. These reports show every site your computer has been to (including attempts to unload or bypass the software). The reports also grade the sites you have visited, flagging (and color coding) ones that look suspicious. They have many other helps on their website.

Look for God’s Ways of Escape

1 Corinthians 10:12-13 gives two warnings. The first warning is that anyone can fall.

Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall. (v. 12)

The second warning is that believers should not give up as if it is hopeless:

No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it. (v. 13)

The first warning helps us to avoid pride. The second warning helps us to avoid both despair and carelessness. It says that God will so control your environment, that He always guarantees that there is a way of escape. This presupposes a determination to flee from sin (v. 14) much like Joseph did from Potiphar’s wife. God is sovereignly in control and would never make your body such, or make your environment such that you were unable to bear the temptation. With God’s providence on your side (1 Cor. 10:13) and God’s guarantee that all things are working together for your good (Rom. 8:28), there is no excuse for falling into masturbation. But more importantly, there is hope for you to overcome masturbation. Look for the ways of escape that God has providentially made available. Here are some suggestions for anticipating problems and providing ways of escape for yourself.

Determine when you are most often tempted to masturbate. If it is in the evening, your strategies may be a little different than if it is first thing in the morning, in the middle of the night, just as you go to bed, or in the day. If you generally masturbate when you retire, spend a period of time in meditation in the Scripture before you even go to the bedroom. Pray that God would preserve you. Exercise very hard so that you will be tired and ready to go to sleep right away. And quote your Scriptures while you are drifting off to sleep.

Some people have found that taking cold showers helps them to “cool down” both sexually and bodily! Others find that jogging hard helps. Most will say that the more lazy they are (watching T.V., lazing around, reading novels, etc.) the more likely they are to get tempted. So get involved in something with the church that will take up a lot of your time. Or, get a second, part time job. If the T.V. is a constant source of temptation, then throw out the T.V. If you tend to masturbate in the day after going out grocery shopping (perhaps because you were stimulated by glancing at the magazine covers on the magazine rack), you might want to avoid going to that store and find a store either doesn’t sell them, or has them hidden. As much as possible, remove the stimulus to sexual arousal.

If you tend to masturbate in the morning, set your alarm clock (a loud one) across the room so that you have to jump out of bed to get it. Then immediately make your bed and start to exercise and shower. Don’t use the snooze alarm! If the temptation is overpowering, rebuke Satan and your flesh and quote the Scriptures that form the basis for the rebuke while you start doing your morning chores like making breakfast. Don’t try to overcome the temptation while you are in bed! That is like inviting trouble. Be like Joseph and flee from the place where the temptation is occurring and get involved in something else. If need be, call someone up on the phone and chit chat. Often, the very act of having your mind occupied with something else will cause your arousal to subside and will then take your mind off of your sinful desires. You cannot change an emotion or feeling overnight, but as you program your body to act in certain ways, your emotions (which spring from your body) will gradually come into line as well. Remember, it takes three to six weeks for a habit to be firmly established.

Plan ahead to what you will do when you get tempted. To some extent you need to understand your particular temptations and be prepared to handle them. Make a covenant with your eyes to not gaze on a woman (Job 31:1) or any other sexual object. In other words, get rid of anything that would tempt you in a weak moment. If catalogs are a source of temptation, tear out the pages of the catalog that are offensive, or throw the whole catalog away. Get an internet blocker or else a program like Covenant Eyes that sends a weekly report of every site you have visited to two accountability partners.

Again, when you fall into sin, don’t beat up on yourself, and condemn yourself into misery. That is Satan’s favorite trick to get people to give up on themselves and despair of ever overcoming. After you have fallen into sin again, immediately repent and ask God to forgive you for failing to believe 1 Cor. 10:13 and for failing to appropriate His word. Then thank God for the forgiveness that you have — full and free in Christ. Then pray for strength to resist in the future. Plan how to resist once again. Resolve to obey God.

Read the book of 1 John after every time that you fall into sin. This will give you not only a holy fear, it will also give you hope in the power of God’s grace. Consider the following purposes for the book of 1 John, and I think you will see that it is a good tool in the battle:

And these things we write to you that your joy may be full. (1 John 1:4)

My little children, these things I write to you, so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. (1 John 2:1)

These things I have written to you concerning those who try to deceive you. (1 John 2:26)

These things I have written to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, that you may know that you have eternal life, and that you may continue to believe in the name of the Son of God. (1 John 5:13)

Finally, use the appendixes to this letter to help you gain total victory. I think you will find lots of ammunition against the subtle lies of the world, the flesh and the devil.

YOU CAN OVERCOME THE SIN OF MASTURBATION!

I love you, brother, and will be in prayer for the power of God’s grace to give you increasing victory.

Phil Kayser

2. Affirmations of Faith to Help You in the Battle

Scripture says, “they overcame him [the devil] by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives to the death” (Rev. 12:11). Four things gave them success:

1. Christ’s purchased grace (“blood of the Lamb”)
2. Scriptural affirmations of faith (“by the word of their testimony”)
3. Radical self-denial (“they did not love their lives”)
4. Perseverance in doing the right thing (“did not love their lives to the death”)

The following are some sample affirmations of faith that can be made out loud. When you begin to think negatively and want to give up, resist your flesh and resist Satan by affirming the following Scriptures by faith:

When you think, “It’s impossible”

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Phil. 4:13)

The things which are impossible with men are possible with God. (Luke 18:27)

For with God nothing will be impossible. (Luke 1:37)

If you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, “Move from here to there,” and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you. (Matt. 17:20)

When you think, “I’m too tired”

The God of Israel is He who gives strength and power to His people. Blessed be God! (Psalm 68:35)

He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increases strength. (Isa. 40:29)

My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness. (2 Cor. 12:9)

When you think, “Nobody really loves me”

Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you. (Jer. 31:3)

Having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end. (John 13:1)

I in them, and You in Me; that they may be made perfect in one, and that the world may know that You have sent Me, and have loved them as You have loved Me. (John 17:23)

When you think, “I can’t go on”

And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Cor. 12:9-10)

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us. (Eph. 3:20)

When you think, “I can’t figure things out”

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. (Prov. 3:5-6)

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. (James 1:5)

When you think, “I can’t do it”

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Phil. 4:13)

And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work. (2 Cor. 9:8)

When you think, “It’s not worth it”

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. (Rom. 8:28)

And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. (Gal. 6:9)

When you think, “I can’t manage”

And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. (Phil. 4:19)

When you think, “I’m afraid”

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. (2 Tim. 1:7)

Be strong and of good courage. (Josh. 1:6)

This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous and then you will have good success. (Josh. 1:8)

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go. (Josh. 1:9)

When you think, “I’m always worried and frustrated”

Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. (1 Pet. 5:7)

He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it. (1 Thess. 5:24)

When you think, “I don’t have enough faith”

God has dealt to each one a measure of faith. (Rom. 12:3)

When you think, “I’m not smart enough”

Christ… became for us wisdom from God. (1 Cor. 1:30)

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. (James 1:5)

When you think, “I feel all alone”

I will never leave you or forsake you. (Heb. 13:5)

3. Scriptures to Claim for Resisting the Demonic

And the God of peace will crush Satan under your feet shortly. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you. Amen. (Rom. 16:20)

And I also say to you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build My church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it. (Matt. 16:18)

For He must reign till He has put all enemies under His feet. (1 Cor. 15:25)

“No weapon formed against you shall prosper,
And every tongue which rises against you in judgment
You shall condemn.
This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD,
And their righteousness is from Me,”
Says the LORD.
(Isaiah 54:17)

He who sins is of the devil, for the devil has sinned from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that He might destroy the works of the devil. (1 John 3:8)

You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. (1 John 4:4)

For everyone who is born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith. Who is he who overcomes the world, but he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God? (1 John 5:4-5)

These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world. (John 16:33)

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Phil. 4:13)

Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. (James 4:7)

Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge in every place. (2 Cor. 2:14)

But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. (1 Cor. 15:57)

But the Lord is faithful, who will establish you and guard you from the evil one. (2 Thess. 3:3)

And they overcame him [Satan] by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives to the death. (Rev. 12:11)

Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler
And from the perilous pestilence.
He shall cover you with His feathers,
And under His wings you shall take refuge;
His truth shall be your shield and buckler.
You shall not be afraid of the terror by night,
Nor of the arrow that flies by day,
Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness,
Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.
A thousand may fall at your side,
And ten thousand at your right hand;
But it shall not come near you.
Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me!
For my soul trusts in You;
And in the shadow of Your wings I will make my refuge,
Until these calamities have passed by.
(Psalm 91:3-7)

And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth.” (Matt. 28:18)

What is the exceeding greatness of His power toward us who believe, according to the working of His mighty power which He worked in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly places far above all principality and power and might and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this age but also in that which is to come. And He put all things under His feet, and gave Him to be head over all things to the church, which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all. (Eph. 1:19)

And raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus. (Eph. 2:6)

He has delivered us from the power [authority] of darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of His love. (Col. 1:13)

Having disarmed principalities and powers, He made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them in it [the cross]. (Col. 2:15)

Inasmuch then as the children have partaken of flesh and blood, He Himself likewise shared in the same, that through death He might destroy [or render powerless] him who had the power of death, that is, the devil, and release those who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage. (Heb. 2:14-15)

He will not allow your foot to be moved;
He who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, He who keeps Israel
Shall neither slumber nor sleep.
The LORD is your keeper;
The LORD is your shade at your right hand.
The sun shall not strike you by day,
Nor the moon by night.
The LORD shall preserve you from all evil;
He shall preserve your soul.
The LORD shall preserve your going out and your coming in
From this time forth, and even forevermore.
(Psalm 121:3-8)

No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life; as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you nor forsake you. (Josh. 1:5)

Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.
(Isaiah 41:10)

And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand. My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of My Father’s hand. I and My Father are one. (John 10:28-30)

Other Scriptures Describing Our Authority Over Demons

Then He appointed twelve, that they might be with Him and that He might send them out to preach, and to have power [authority] to heal sicknesses and to cast out demons. (Mark 3:14-15)

But if I cast out demons by the Spirit of God, surely the kingdom of God has come upon you. Or how can one enter a strong man’s house and plunder his goods, unless he first binds the strong man? And then he will plunder his house. (Matt. 12:28-29)

And when He had called His twelve disciples to Him, He gave them power [authority] over unclean spirits, to cast them out, and to heal all kinds of sickness and all kinds of disease… “Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out demons. Freely you have received, freely give.” (Matt. 10:1, 8)

And He called the twelve to Himself, and began to send them out two by two, and gave them power [authority] over unclean spirits… And they cast out many demons, and anointed with oil many who were sick, and healed them. (Mark 6:7, 13)

Assuredly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them. (Matt. 18:18-20)

Then the seventy returned with joy, saying, “Lord, even the demons are subject to us in Your name.” And He said to them, “I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. Behold, I give you the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you. Nevertheless do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rather rejoice because your names are written in heaven.” (Luke 10:17-20)

And these signs will follow those who believe: In My name they will cast out demons; they will speak with new tongues; they will take up serpents; and if they drink anything deadly, it will by no means hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover. (Mark 16:17-18)

You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. (1 John 4:4)

I am He who lives, and was dead, and behold, I am alive forevermore. Amen. And I have the keys of Hades and of Death. (Rev. 1:18)

And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives to the death. (Rev. 12:11; cf. 1 John 5:4)

Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. (Eph. 6:10-17)

4. Scriptures to Counsel Self and Others

Note: The ideas for this section came from a pastor friend.

God’s Word has the answers to your problems

As His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue, by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust. (2 Pet. 1:3-4)

You can gain the victory!

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Phil. 4:13)

And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, have an abundance for every good work. (2 Cor. 9:8)

No temptation [trial] has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God [is] faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation (trial) will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it. (1 Cor. 10:13)

For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age, looking for the blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for Himself His own special people, zealous for good works. (Titus 2:11-14)

Gain hope! Don’t give up

We are hard pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed… Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward [man] is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal. (2 Cor. 4:8-9, 16-18)

For whatever things were written before were written for our learning, that we through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope… Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Rom. 15:4, 13)

God requires hard work

Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure. (Phil. 2:12-13)

But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me was not in vain; but I labored more abundantly than they all, yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me. (1 Cor. 15:10)

But reject profane and old wives’ fables, and exercise yourself toward godliness. For bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things, having promise of the life that now is and of that which is to come. (1 Tim. 4:7-8)

But solid food belongs to those who are of full age, that is, those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil. (Heb. 5:14)

And that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in righteousness and true holiness. (Eph. 4:22-24)

You can change

Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God. (1 Cor. 6:9-11)

Your goal must be to please God, not simply gaining relief from the pain

Therefore we make it our aim (goal), whether present or absent, to be well pleasing to Him. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive the things [done] in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad. (2 Cor. 5:9-10)

Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. (1 Cor. 10:31)

God uses suffering and trials in our lives

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. (James 1:2-4)

And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character, and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. (Rom. 5:3-5)

For to you it has been granted on behalf of Christ, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake. (Phil. 1:29)

Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you. (1 Pet. 4:12)

God’s goal is to make you more like Christ through the trial, and God is in control (Sovereign)

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. (Rom. 8:28-29)

But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive. (Gen. 50:20)

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isa. 55:8-9)

God is in control even of bad things

I form the light and create darkness, I make peace and create calamity; I, the LORD, do all these things. (Isa. 45:7)

In the day of prosperity be joyful, but in the day of adversity consider: surely God has appointed the one as well as the other, so that man can find out nothing that will come after him. (Eccles. 7:14)

Who is he who speaks and it comes to pass, when the LORD has not commanded it? Is it not from the mouth of the Most High that woe and well-being proceed? (Lam. 3:37-38)

If a trumpet is blown in a city, will not the people be afraid? If there is calamity in a city, will not the LORD have done it? (Amos 3:6)

To continue in sin makes for a hard life!

The way of the transgressor is hard. (Prov. 13:15 ASV)

Living with unconfessed sin makes you paranoid and fearful

The wicked flee when no one pursues, but the righteous are bold as a lion. (Prov. 28:1)

Repentance means turning away from your sin and towards God

He who covers his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy. (Prov. 28:13)

Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man to whom the LORD does not impute iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit. When I kept silent, my bones grew old through my groaning all the day long. For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me. (Psalm 32:1-4)

Or do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance? But in accordance with your hardness and your impenitent heart you are treasuring up for yourself wrath in the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God, who “will render to each one according to his deeds”: eternal life to those who by patient continuance in doing good seek for glory, honor, and immortality; but to those who are self-seeking and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness—indignation and wrath. (Rom. 2:4-8)

Therefore, as the Holy Spirit says: “Today, if you will hear His voice, do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion, in the day of trial in the wilderness, where your fathers tested Me, tried Me, and saw My works forty years. Therefore I was angry with that generation, and said, ‘They always go astray in their heart, and they have not known My ways.’ So I swore in My wrath, ‘They shall not enter My rest.’” Beware, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief in departing from the living God; but exhort one another daily, while it is called “Today,” lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin. For we have become partakers of Christ if we hold the beginning of our confidence steadfast to the end, while it is said: “Today, if you will hear His voice, do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion.” (Heb. 3:7-15)

Specific sins in your life must be dealt with radically… don’t allow them to remain

If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. (Matt. 5:29-30)

But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts. (Rom. 13:14)

You are responsible for taking control of your thoughts

Casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ. (2 Cor. 10:5)

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. (Rom. 12:1-2)

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you. (Phil. 4:8-9)

Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. (Col. 3:2)

And be renewed in the spirit of your mind. (Eph. 4:23)

Guard your heart with all diligence, for out of it flows the issues of life. (Prov. 4:23)

You must work on removing any “idols of the heart” — The heart is what produces sinful attitudes and actions

Son of man, these men have set up their idols in their hearts, and put before them that which causes them to stumble into iniquity. Should I let Myself be inquired of at all by them? Therefore speak to them, and say to them, “Thus says the Lord GOD: ‘Everyone of the house of Israel who sets up his idols in his heart, and puts before him what causes him to stumble into iniquity, and then comes to the prophet, I the LORD will answer him who comes, according to the multitude of his idols, that I may seize the house of Israel by their heart, because they are all estranged from Me by their idols.’” (Ezek. 14:3-4)

Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs. (Jonah 2:8 NET)

Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members? You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures. (James 4:1-3)

Do you not yet understand that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and is eliminated? But those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile a man. For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies. (Matt. 15:17-19)

Guard your heart with all diligence. For out of it flows the issues of life. (Prov. 4:23)

“Be astonished, O heavens, at this, and be horribly afraid; be very desolate,” says the LORD. “For My people have committed two evils: They have forsaken Me, the fountain of living waters, and hewn themselves cistern—broken cisterns that can hold no water.” (Jer. 2:12-13)

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. (Prov. 3:5-6)

In conflicts consider your own sin first! Don’t trust your own heart and feelings… do what God’s word says

The heart is deceitfully wicked and who can know it? (Jer. 17:9)

And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, “Let me remove the speck from your eye”; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. (Matt. 7:3-5)

Don’t be anxious

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (Phil. 4:6-7)

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. (Matt. 6:33-34)

Love (giving for the needs of another) drives out fear

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. (1 John 4:18)

The fear of man brings a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD shall be safe. (Prov. 29:25)

Unconfessed anger gives Satan a foothold in your life

Be angry, and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil. (Eph. 4:26-27)

God gives grace to the humble!

But He gives more grace. Therefore He says: “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” (James 4:6)

Don’t retaliate when wronged, but overcome evil with good

Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance [is] Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. Therefore “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (Rom. 12:17-21)

Watch out for bitterness!

Looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled. (Heb. 12:15)

You must forgive!

Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, “I repent,” you shall forgive him. (Luke 17:3-4)

And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses. (Mark 11:25-26)

Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. (Matt. 5:23-24)

Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” (Matt. 18:21-22)

Now whom you forgive anything, I also forgive. For if indeed I have forgiven anything, I have forgiven that one for your sakes in the presence of Christ, lest Satan should take advantage of us; for we are not ignorant of his devices. (2 Cor. 2:10-11)

Bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. (Col. 3:13)

Follow rules of godly communication

Speaking the truth in love… Therefore, putting away lying, let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor, for we are members of one another. Be angry, and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil. Let him who stole steal no longer, but rather let him labor, working with his hands what is good, that he may have something to give him who has need. Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you. (Eph. 4:15, 25-32)

5. Appendix: Prayers for Spiritual Warfare

These prayers were written by Dr. Phil Kayser (pk) and Mark Bubeck (mb). More prayers are available in the booklet, Prayers for Spiritual Warfare, available at https://kaysercommentary.com/booklets.md

I recommend that you pray these prayers out loud. It was rare in Biblical times to pray silently, and there is something powerful about praying out loud and with emotional feeling.

Prayer for the Filling of the Spirit (pk)

Father, your word has promised that if we ask for the Spirit, you will give of the Spirit far more readily than parents give the necessities of life to their children. I lay claim to the “how much more” of Luke 11:13 and ask that you would give to me an extra portion of the Spirit’s presence for today. I need the Spirit because you have commanded me to “walk in the Spirit” (Gal. 5:16) in everything that I do. Help me to “sing in the Spirit” (1 Cor. 14:15), to “worship…in the Spirit” (Phil. 3:3) and to “rejoice in the Holy Spirit” (1 Thess. 1:6; Rom. 14:17). Please help me to “pray in the Spirit” (Jude 20; Eph. 6:18) since I do not know what I should pray for as I ought (Rom. 8:26). Help me to “love in the Spirit” (Col. 1:18), be “led by the Spirit” (Matt. 4:1; Rom. 8:14; Gal. 5:18), be “moved by the Spirit” (Luke 2:27), be “compelled by the Spirit” (Acts 20:22 NIV) and to have my “mind controlled by the Spirit” (Rom. 8:6). May every part of me be controlled by the Spirit (Rom. 8:6,9) so that I might “live in the Spirit” (Gal. 5:25; Rom. 8:13). I want to be taught by the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 2:13), to speak by the Spirit since “no one can say that Jesus is Lord except by the Holy Spirit” (1 Cor. 12:3). Wash and sanctify me by the Spirit (1 Cor. 6:11).

I know that Paul’s prayer in Ephesians 1:17-20 is according to your will, and I ask that the reality of your transforming power would work in my life today:

…that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, the eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the exceeding greatness of His power toward us who believe, according to the working of His mighty power which He worked in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly places…

I do not ask this because I deserve it, but because I am united to Christ and He has purchased everything that is necessary for my full enjoyment of the Spirit. I ask it simply because you have promised the Spirit to those who come in faith (Gal. 3:1-5; Luke 11:13). Thank you for your gracious gift, Father. I love you and praise you. May the Spirit cause me to glorify you today.

Lord Jesus, you are the vine and we are the branches (John 15:1-8). I acknowledge that my life flows from you, and that without you I can do nothing (v. 5). I know that you were given the Holy Spirit “without measure.” I ask that you would release your life into my life that I might bear fruit. Release your strength, wisdom, healing [etc.] to meet the needs of this day. You have said that all who drink of you will never thirst since they will have within them a fountain of living water that never grows dry (John 4:14). I need that for my dryness. I lay claim to your promise in John 7:37-39:

“If anyone thirst, let him come to Me and drink. He who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.” But this He spoke concerning the Spirit, whom those believing in Him would receive; for the Holy Spirit was not yet given, because Jesus was not yet glorified.

Lord, since you have been glorified, and everything necessary has been done that we might receive the Spirit, I pray that the Holy Spirit would be poured out upon me today. This passage says that “anyone” who thirsts may come to drink and will receive. Lord, I come to you and I now drink of you. Thank you for your gift of the Spirit. Thank you for your life giving waters.

Holy Spirit, I invite you now to baptize me afresh with the fire of your love. I want to know you, not just know about you. I want to experience your presence in my life. I give myself to you and ask that you would give yourself to me. I need your power in my life. Please come, and fill me now. Come into my life as the “Spirit of wisdom and understanding, the Spirit of counsel and might, the Spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the LORD” (Isa. 11:2). I need those things in my life. I am your bondservant and I come humbly to be controlled and moved by you. Whatever giftings you want to pour out in my life today (1 Cor. 12-14; Eph. 4:7ff; Rom. 12:3-8; 1 Pet. 4:9-11), I gladly receive and determine now to use to the glory of the Father. I will not limit your gifts by my perceptions of what I can handle, or what I need. I receive your sovereign will to give as you please. Work in me mightily to the glory of God.

Fill me with your gracious fruit. Help me to walk in the Spirit that I might not fulfill the lusts of the flesh (Gal. 5:16). I lay claim to your supernatural love that can love the unlovable. I lay claim to your joy of the Lord which is my strength (Neh. 8:10). I lay claim to Your peace that passes all understanding (Phil. 4:7); your longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Gal. 5.23). Help me to do everything today by your working, that you would replace my evil thinking with the mind of Christ (1 Cor. 2.16), my rebellious will with the will of Christ, my unruly emotions with the compassion of Christ.

Flow through me to minister to others. Please flood the deepest places of my life, washing away the filth and replacing it with the righteousness of Christ. Cleanse my wounds that still tend to dominate my thoughts and are keeping me from emotional freedom. Help me to know Christ and the power of His resurrection.

I want to learn more and more what it means to walk in the Spirit. May I not lift so much as a straw from the ground without your presence, love and approval. By faith, I thank you even now that you have answered this prayer and have poured out your Spirit in my life. Praise be to your name! Praise be to your name! I love you and thank you.

Sample Prayer of Surrender (pk)

Father, I surrender to you today with all my heart and soul. Lord Jesus, You are the Lord of my whole life. Dear Holy Spirit, I open all the secret places of my heart to You.

Oh God, I will hold nothing back. I offer up my body as a living sacrifice to be used entirely for you today. All that I have is yours: my health, my time, my family, my successes, my failures, my relationships, my occupation, my times of relaxation and of work. I release these things and let them go. I surrender my fears, my insecurities, my sexuality, my strengths and my weaknesses. I especially surrender __________ and __________. I surrender my understanding of how these things ought to be, my choices and my will. I want to relate to these things as a steward, receiving my strength and my direction from you. Take me and use me. Amen.

Alternatively, you could pray the following prayer of Ignatius: “Take, Lord, and receive, all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and my entire will, all that I have and possess. You have given all to me. To You, O Lord, I return it. All is yours. Dispose of it wholly according to your will. Give me your love and your grace, for this is sufficient for me.”

Our Death With Christ (mb)

Heavenly Father, I enter by faith today into death with the Lord Jesus Christ on the cross. I appropriate all of the benefit of the crucifixion which is mine because of my union with Christ. I count myself dead to my old fleshly nature and all of its workings through my union with Christ at the cross. I recognize that my old nature always wants to resurrect itself against You and Your will for my life, but I will to let it remain dead in death with my Lord on the cross. I am thankful that this absolute truth can be my subjective experience. I recognize that appropriating the death of my flesh is an essential step to victory over these fleshly temptations which buffet me. Amen.

Appropriating This Walk With Christ (mb)

Blessed heavenly Father, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ I desire to walk in the Spirit today. I recognize that only as He lives the life of the Lord Jesus Christ in me will I be able to escape the works of my flesh. I desire the Holy Spirit to bring all of the work of the crucifixion and the resurrection of Christ into my life today. I pray that the Holy Spirit may produce His fruit within my whole being and shed abroad in my heart great love for the heavenly Father, for the Lord Jesus Christ, and for others about me. Forgive me, dear Holy Spirit, for all times I have grieved or quenched You. Enable me to respond to Your grace and to be sensitive to Your voice. Grant to me the desire and enablement to be obedient to Your precious Word. Grant me discernment to avoid being deceived by false spirits. I desire that the Holy Spirit fill all of my being with His presence and control me by faith. I trust my victory over the flesh today completely into the hands of the Holy Spirit as I let Him take control of me. In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I receive all the fullness of the Holy Spirit into all areas of my being today. Amen.

Appropriating Our Victory Over the World (mb)

Loving heavenly Father, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ I approach You again in prayer. I glorify You that all of my victory and ability to walk pleasing before You has been provided by Your grace. I desire to claim my victory that You have provided over my enemy, the world system. I recognize its powerful appeal to my fallen fleshly nature. I see that Satan’s deception and power in the world is strong against me. I know I cannot overcome the world through my own efforts. I enter into Your provided victory. Thank You that in His humanity, the Lord Jesus Christ overcame the world for me. Thank You that He met all of its temptations for me and defeated them. Thank You that Jesus Christ died and shed His blood that He might accomplish His full victory over the world and its ruler. Thank You that the blood of the Savior cleanses me of the times I have failed to overcome the world. I enter into my Lord’s victory and bring it strong against the appeal of the world to me.

I also open my heart to the full victory of the Holy Spirit over the world. I trust Him to put desires within my being which are above the world. I trust Him to cause the world’s appeal to me to be blotted out. May He keep me from being double-minded. I don’t want to love the things of God with one part of me and the things of the world with another part of me. May the Holy Spirit unite my heart to fear Your name. May He bring me all together in wholeness to love and serve You with all of my will, my mind, my emotions, my body, and my spirit. Thank You for providing all of my victory. I appropriate it now in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.

Putting on the Armor of God (mb)

Heavenly Father, I desire to be obedient by being strong in the Lord and the power of Your might. I see that this is Your will and purpose for me. I recognize that it is essential to put on the armor that You have provided, and I do so now with gratitude and praise that You have provided all I need to stand in victory against Satan and his kingdom. Grant me wisdom to discern the tactics and sneakiness of Satan’s strategy against me. Enable me to wrestle in victory against the princes, powers, rulers, and wicked spirits who carry the battle of darkness against me.

I delight to take the armor You have provided and by faith to put it on as effective spiritual protection against the spiritual forces of darkness.

I confidently take the loin girdle of truth that You offer me. I take Him who is the truth as my strength and protection. I reject Satan’s lies and deceiving ways to gain advantage against me. Grant me discernment and wisdom to recognize the subtle deceiving ways in which Satan seeks to cause me to accept his lies as truth. I desire to believe only the truth, to live the truth, to speak the truth, and to know the truth. I worship and praise You that You lead me only in the ways of truth. Thank You that Satan cannot stand against the bold use of truth.

Thank You for the breastplate of righteousness which you offer me. I eagerly accept it and put it on as my protection.

Thank You for reminding me again that all of my righteousness comes from You. I embrace that righteousness which is mine by faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. It is His righteousness that is mine through justification. I reject and repudiate all trust in my own righteousness which is as filthy rags. I ask You to cleanse me of all the times I have counted my own goodness as being acceptable before You. I bring the righteousness of my Lord directly against all of Satan’s workings against me. I express my desire to walk in righteousness before God today. By faith I appropriate the righteousness of Christ and invite Him to walk in His holiness in my life today that I might experience His righteousness in total context of ordinary living. I count upon the righteousness of my Lord to be my protection. I know that Satan must retreat from before the righteousness of God.

Thank You, Lord, for the sandals of peace You have provided. I desire that my feet should stand on the solid rock of the peace that You have provided. I claim the peace with God which is mine through justification. I desire the peace of God which touches my emotions and feelings through prayer and sanctification (Phil 4:6). Thank You that as I walk in obedience to You that the God of peace promises to walk with me (Phil. 4:9), that as the God of peace You are putting Satan under my feet (Rom. 16:20). I will share this good news of peace with all others today that Your Spirit will bring into my life and witness. Thank You that You have not given me the spirit of fear but of love and power and a sound mind (2 Tim. 1:7). Thank You that Satan cannot stand against Your peace.

Eagerly, Lord, I lift up the shield of faith against all the blazing missiles that Satan and his hosts fire at me. I recognize that You are my shield and that in Your incarnation and crucifixion You took the arrows of Satan which I deserved. By faith I count upon You to shield me from above and beneath; on my right and my left; in front of me and behind me, that I might be protected, walled in, encapsulated by You that Satan may gain no way to hurt or destroy me from fulfilling Your will today. I am willing that any fiery darts of Satan You wish to touch me should do so, but I shall look upon them as refining fires permitted in Your providence for my refining and glory (1 Pet. 1). Thank You, Lord, that You are a complete and perfect shield and that Satan cannot touch me apart from Your sovereign purpose.

I recognize that my mind is a particular target of Satan’s deceiving ways. I take from You the helmet of salvation. I cover my mind, my thoughts, with Your salvation. I recognize that the Lord Jesus Christ is my salvation. I helmet my head with Him. I invite His mind to be in me. Let me think His thoughts, feel His love and compassion, and discern His will and leading in all things. Let my mind be occupied with the continuing, daily, saving work of my Lord in and through my life. May the salvation of my Lord meet and defeat all Satanic thoughts that come to my mind.

With joy I take hold upon the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. I affirm that Your Word is the trustworthy, infallible Word of God. I choose to believe it and to live in its truth and power. Grant me the love for Your Word which comes from the Holy Spirit. Forgive and cleanse me from the sin of neglecting Your Word. Enable me to memorize it and to meditate upon its truth. Grant me proficient recall and skill in using Your Word against all of Satan’s subtle attacks against me, even as my Lord Jesus Christ used the Word against Satan. Enable me to use Your Word not only to defend me from Satan, but also to claim its promises and to wield the sword strong against Satan to defeat him, to push him back, to take away from him ground he claims, and to win great victories for my God through Your Word. Thank You that Satan must retreat from Your Word applied against him.

Thank You, dear Lord, for prayer. Help me to keep this armor well oiled with prayer. I desire to pray at all times with depth and intensity as the Holy Spirit leads me. I reject all fleshly praying as sin. I trust the Holy Spirit to enable me, to intercede for me and through me. Grant me great supplication and burden for others in God’s family of blood-washed saints. Enable me to see their needs and to assist them through prayer as the enemy attacks them. All of these petitions, intercessions, and words of praise I offer up before the true and living God in the name and worthy merit of my Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.

A Couple Whose Marriage is in Trouble (mb)

Loving heavenly Father, I thank You for Your perfect plan for our marriage. I know that a marriage functioning in Your will and blessing is fulfilling and beautiful. In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I bring our marriage before You that You might make it all You desire it to be. Please forgive me for my sins of failure in our marriage. [One may specify and enlarge confession.]

In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I tear down all of Satan’s strongholds designed to destroy our marriage. In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ I break all relationships between us that have been established by Satan and his wicked spirits. I will accept only the relationships established by You and the blessed Holy Spirit. I invite the Holy Spirit to enable me to relate to [my wife] in a manner that will meet [her] needs. I submit our conversation to You, that it may please You. I submit our physical relationship to You that it may enjoy your blessing. I submit our love to You that You may cause it to grow and mature. I desire to know and experience in marriage the fullness of Your perfect will. Open my eyes to see all areas where I am deceived. Open [my wife’s] eyes to see any of Satan’s deception upon [her]. Make our union to be the Christ-centered and blessed relationship You have designed in Your perfect will. I ask this in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ with thanksgiving. Amen.

Demonic Bondage, Yet He Shows No Desire to Help Himself or to Have Anyone Else Help Him (mb)

Heavenly Father, I bring before You and the Lord Jesus Christ one who is very dear to You and to me, [Fred Smith]. I have come to see that Satan is blinding and binding him in awful bondage. He is in such a condition that he cannot or will not come to You for help on his own. I stand in for him in intercessory prayer before Your throne. I draw upon the Person of the Holy Spirit that He may guide me to pray in wisdom, power, and understanding.

In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I loose [Fred] from the awful bondage the powers of darkness are putting upon him. I bind all powers of darkness set on destroying his life. I bind them aside in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and forbid them to work. I bind up all powers of depression that are seeking to cut [Fred] off and imprison him in a tomb of despondency. I bring in prayer the focus of the Person and work of the Lord Jesus Christ directly upon [Fred] to his strengthening and help. I bring the mighty power of my Lord’s incarnation, crucifixion, resurrection, ascension, and glorification directly against all forces of darkness seeking to destroy [Fred]. I ask the Holy Spirit to apply all of the mighty work of the Lord Jesus Christ directly against all forces of darkness seeking to destroy [Fred].

I pray, heavenly Father, that You may open [Fred’s] eyes of understanding. Remove all blindness and spiritual deafness from his heart. As a priest of God in Fred’s life, I plead Your mercy over his sins of failure and rebellion. I claim all of his life united together in obedient love and service to the Lord Jesus Christ. May the Spirit of the living God focus His mighty work upon [Fred] to grant him repentance and to set him completely free from all that binds him.

In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I thank You for Your answer. Grant me the grace to be persistent and faithful in my intercessions for [Fred], that You may be glorified through this deliverance, Amen.

Renunciation and Affirmation (mb)

As a child of God purchased by the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ, I here and now renounce and repudiate all the sins of my ancestors. As one who has been delivered from the power of darkness and translated into the kingdom of God’s dear Son, I cancel out all demonic working that has been passed on to me from my ancestors. As one who has been crucified with Jesus Christ and raised to walk in newness of life, I cancel every curse that may have been put upon me. I announce to Satan and all his forces that Christ became a curse for me when He hung on the cross. As one who has been crucified and raised with Christ and now sits with Him in heavenly places, I renounce any and every way in which Satan may claim ownership of me. I declare myself to be eternally and completely signed over and committed to the Lord Jesus Christ. All this I do in the name and authority of the Lord Jesus Christ (Rom. 6:4; Gal. 2:20; 3:13; Eph. 1:7; 2:5-6; Col 1:13).

6. More Resources for Overcoming

Biblical Blueprints offers more resources on overcoming masturbation, impure thoughts, and pornography. These resources are available online at https://kaysercommentary.com/Resources/pornography-help.md or by scanning the QR code at the back of this book.

23 Costs of Sexual Sin

An anonymous pastor friend of Dr. Kayser made this list to help put fear into men to not do stupid things — and when you look at the costs, you realize how stupid they are. There is no good ROI.

Developing Sales Resistance to Porn

This paper examines common tactics of high-pressure-sales and how Satan used them in his original pitch to Eve — but these same sales principles also demonstrate how to develop sales-resistance, particularly when it comes to resisting the promises offered by porn. If you really apply each of these principles, they will help you to develop a revulsion for porn.

Yielding Rights Homework

Acting out is often a result of feeling like we have been wronged and our rights have been trampled upon. This one page homework assignment helps identify the rights that we feel have been violated.

Roots of Lying in 8 Areas of Life

Overcoming any sin involves walking in the light. Sexual sins especially tend to be hidden. We must put off all lying. If we have been in the habit of hiding our sin, it may take a more concentrated effort to be able to walk in truth about sexual sin. This graphic can help you examine any area of life where deceit may have crept in. It is a useful graphic to go alongside Dr. Kayser’s message “Hope for Holiness.”

Mastering Your Curiosity

How to tame curiosity. This is absolutely essential for gaining victory. Give your eyes exercises every day in order to train your eyes and your mental curiosity to serve God rather than allowing curiosity to be your master.

Hope After Porn Testimonies

Covenant Eyes collected the following stories by women whose husbands were caught in a pornography addiction. The stories are meant to give hope, as, in these cases, there was repentance and a turn to walk in the light.

Sin Facilitators and Impediments Worksheet

As you work at overcoming a sin, you can use this list to help identify facilitators to that sin that need to be put off, and impediments to that sin that need to be put on — facilitators to righteous thinking and behavior that need to be put on, and impediments to righteous thinking and behavior that need to be put off.

Dr. Kayser’s Favorite Counseling Verses

When you’re counseling someone who’s deep in a besetting sin, they need to set their faith on Christ’s promises and be cut to the heart by the Sword of the Word. Here are Dr. Kayser’s top counseling passages.

King David and Missing Sexual Hedges

It is a truism that males struggle with sexual temptations. This sermon seeks to give practical help for gaining the victory. God gives us the details about King David’s fall so we can learn to walk in righteousness for His Name’s sake.

In this sermon, you’ll see the human hedges that David broke down, the providential hedges that David ignored, and the dangerous downhill “mystery of iniquity” that David was ignoring.

Bathsheba and Missing Sexual Hedges

Whereas the previous sermon addressed key issues facing men, this sermon addresses the unique sexual temptations of women. In the process it also boldly addresses issues of modesty, thought life, hedges, and the practical steps that should be taken to tuneup a marriage.

Covering Sin

When we expose our sin through Biblical confession, God brings incredible relief, joy, liberty, and peace. But when we cover our sin with the “fig leaves” of humanistic substitutes, we bring ourselves misery. When God guarantees that the consequences of hiding our sins are always greater than the consequences of confessing our sins, why is it that so frequently we desperately use every means at our disposal to hide? This sermon explores this strange phenomenon and applies it in various areas of life, including apologetics, child rearing, finances, discipline, and politics.

Pagan Thinking in a Christian Family

The tragedy of Amnon and Tamar in King David’s family shows that, even in a God-fearing family, worldly thinking is insufficient to kill sin. Only fear of the Lord and Biblical thinking can crucify ungodly passions, not social constructs.

In this sermon, Dr. Kayser gives fifteen reasons why lust must be crucified rather than ignored and shows how Christians must:

1. Speak up (Prov. 24:11-12)
2. Not blame the victim (Ex. 23:7)
3. Look to Jesus for hope and healing (1 John 1:9; Heb. 4:15-16)
4. Transform our minds (Rom. 12:1-2)

A Note from Dr. Kayser

For those deeply involved in pornography — not anyone else — I also recommend any of the books by Steve Gallagher. The whole ministry of Pure Life Ministries is tremendous. Their organization has helped numerous people get past very deep and dark addictions to pornography. Hopefully these resources will be helpful to you as you overcome and help other Christians to overcome.

Find These Resources Online

Notes