A Battle with the FM Radio

I’ve been thinking about the news today because I’ve been in a morning-long battle with an old FM radio, complete with an external antenna —- something I haven’t seen in years.

The elder geek who gave me the radio provided a high-tech radio without the internet. It even has a flashlight and an alarm that sounds like a police siren. The radio is portable, white, and square, with a big dial and a micro-tuner. The big knob is used as the equivalent of a station scanner —- just something to get a beat on —- while the smaller knob strengthens the signal. I still hear bits of static, so I’ve been trying to find a station I can totally tune into. I want this radio to sound as clear as an internet radio station.

I’ve never used an FM radio. I didn’t have to with podcasts, internet radio stations, the Web itself, YouTube, Twitter, and everything else that trumps FM stations. An FM radio just didn’t factor into my life —- until this morning.

I’m on the floor, stretched out and slowly turning the dial. I’m amazed to hear so much static. The signal was clear just a minute ago. Everything I’ve used has had an internet connection for so many years that I’ve almost forgotten what FM static sounds like. Soon, I prop the damn box on my bed and start wiggling the dial like I’m unlocking my high school locker. Why is there so much static? Finally, I stick the radio out the window. Soon, though, I pull it back for fear that I’ll drop it. The static invades my ear. I don’t want to hear it when I’m trying to listen to the news. Nor do I want to hear whatever songs are playing now or some commercial for car insurance. I want what the internet can give me, a choice to focus on the content I want while filtering out what I don’t want —- all without the need to move an antenna resembling a javelin. I realize as I kneel on the floor, jiggling the antenna like a gaming joystick, that the internet has totally spoiled me.

With Spotify, for example, we don’t have to worry about CDs skipping. We can select any song from any album and even build our own music collection. Podcasts have made downloading content that pertains to our interests beyond easy. Meanwhile, internet radio has provided us with connectivity, clarity, and fewer interruptions. We can all listen to the same type of content in different ways. These developments have made my life convenient; I won’t lie. I’m used to the World Wide Web giving me exactly what I want when I want it, which shows as I battle this damned radio.

How did people live with such spotty ways of listening to music? Didn’t the everlasting static get on their nerves? More importantly, how in the hell do I get some technology news? Also, why is there no disability news on the radio?

Desperate for sound quality, I walk around my apartment some more before sticking the radio out the window again. I take care to hold it tightly by the handle. My headphones are plugged in, and I feel silly doing this, but the signal drastically improves. Now, my next step is to find an FM station talking about the news or technology. They’re all playing music. I wait another minute and flick the dial again, eager for some news. Instead, I hear song after song. Soon, I tune into an epic country song, fighting to not pick up my Victor Reader Stream and connect to the internet. Of all the things that could end my challenge, I didn’t expect FM static. But the pull of the news is disrupting my logic. I remind myself I’ve gotten this far, and I decide to enjoy the song.

I grin just as the signal cuts out and static streams into my ear again. Extending the antenna even farther out so that it resembles a deformed traffic light, I gape as a clear voice fills my headphones.

“And good morning, ladies and gentlemen. This is Jake with WKL FM in the morning, your source for news and views in Chicago! We have time for one more song, and then we’ll detail a—-” Static. I retract the antenna and lay it on its side. I don’t know what else to do. I’m totally lost. Someone, somewhere, is laughing at me. I’d be laughing, too.

I’m amazed, though, that this radio gets the BBC. I don’t know what station it’s on, but turn the dial away from me, and it’s the last signal I get. It isn’t clear unless I keep the radio in my bathroom, next to my toilet. And that’s where it stays.

It’s the only station playing the news, which I’m hungry for. I tune in to briefly hear something about a gay group being illegal because it included the word “gay” in its name. Soon, this station plays music, too. I want to know what’s happening in the world, but since nothing is being talked about, I tune into a nice station that plays soft classical music. Calming and inviting, it allows me to realize that, since I didn’t move the radio, I’m getting this station in internet-quality sound.

I wouldn’t mind listening to classical music for a few more weeks. It may be the best thing I ever do for my writing —- and my mental health. Plus, I’m stoked about the radio’s flashlight and siren! Sometimes I wonder if the pre-Twitter generations had more creativity.