Writers Block
It’s time to take a merry romp through the trials of the written word. Part two of the book starts to look at writing techniques. Through most of the chapters we’ll work on a piece of prose, which by the end should be top-notch copy.
The Car Salesman
“A problem is a chance for you to do your best” - Duke Ellington
OK, so lets start by looking at the description of a car you jotted down right back at the introduction. I hope you did write it out, scrabbling around for a pen right now would be pretty embarrassing…
Seriously, a lot of the chapters in this book will give you small tasks to do. They won’t be massive essays, one of the arts of copy writing is brevity, but it will help you to actively practice the concepts as we go.
Right, caught up? Back to cars.
Try reading the text aloud. It might sound quite good but I bet it is still too complicated. Here are a few examples I got from friends/family:
A metal box with seats and an engine that drives along a road
Jargon!
A composite vehicle with passenger space, a combustion engine and control mechanisms.
That last was written by an academic type, who was trying to be clever. More on this rookie mistake later.
The easiest way to highlight the problem with these, and your, examples is to try them out on someone with little or no concept of what a car is. For obvious reasons this might be difficult. I am sure places in the world exist where cars aren’t used, but getting to them could take a while. You’ll probably finish this book on the plane, which defies the point.
Possibly the next best thing is a small child (note: please don’t go out looking for small children, I don’t want to be known as the guy who got you arrested. Pick a relative!). This is a hack. A small child will still know a car when they see one. But they have undeveloped language/knowledge skills which will help demonstrate the issue.
Enough chatter; go deliver your explanation and ask “what am I describing”. Was their answer right or easily reached? So there is the problem; not only is the car as a general object an alien concept, the whole complex network of things that makes a car (engine, wheels, seats) in themselves are not understood. Using them to describe the problem is fundamentally flawed.
This might go wrong, children are fickle. The one you chose just knows you’re reading this book and will play silly buggers with us. But, if it goes right, you might get something like:
It’s a box for getting somewhere.
Applaud your small child, and return it to the parents, he/she/it has just given us a clue to a core truth of copy writing.
That’s a problem
The adult descriptions of a car suffered from one main failing; they discuss the features that make up a car rather than the problem that it solves. The childish description won’t help you picture a car, but it does explain the “fix” it represents.
This is important in writing copy for your product. People focus on explaining the revolutionary features that make up their product (e.g. ABS brakes). They forget that first you have to show them the problem it solves (ABS brakes = prevents skidding). This is a very basic example, in real life the problem can be more subtle.
You will need to cover the features of the product of course. But launching into a list of them without introducing the reader to the problem will result in switched off customers. Think of it this way; news articles almost always start with a bold “hook” sentence describing the article, for the same reason. Far too many times I see website copy that throws out buzzwords and exciting new ideas, but fail to engage me with an actual problem.
Rule #1 Before anything else; describe the problem you are solving, not the solution.
With this in mind perhaps we can try to rewrite the one sentence description of a car. Remember:
- Keep it simple
- Focus on the problem, rather than the solution
- Avoid any jargon
Here’s my solution:
Walking long distances is time consuming, the car gets you there quicker.
Before you get carried away
It’s very easy to get side tracked. I often see this mistake, where a copy writer gets into his stride laying out the problem. Five paragraphs later he finally mentions the product itself, but by then your customers are already moving on.
This point takes us nicely into our next chapter; in which I use the C word.