Excerpt from JaShel’s Trilogy

Destined to become a wife and mother, JaShel Jackson embraced her life with love and positivity as she battled against her first husband’s infidelity and her second husband’s abuse. When your life is Hell, all you can do is pray that Heaven is a day away.

Don’t you dare cry over his punk ass!

Debating whether to toss my husband’s clothes out onto the front lawn or piling them in his car for a bonfire, I held my anger close as the phone conversation replayed in my head.

“Um… Is this Jayson’s wife?” asked the female on the other end. She sounded like one of the young girls in the psychology class I took last Fall.

“Who, may I ask, is calling?” I replied courteously, thinking it was a telemarketer. Hoping it was. Praying it was.

“I’m… um… I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry.”

Who is this, what the hell you sorry for and why are you apologizing to me?

“Who is this and why are you apologizing to me?” I asked with growing irritation.

“I just want you to know that I won’t be seeing your husband anymore. I don’t want to cause any more problems for you two. I’m sorry.”

Click.

I won’t be seeing your husband anymore.

Remarkably calm, I wrote down the information from the caller ID display before I turned off the cordless phone. Jayson was on a flight home after dropping our three children off with his parents for their annual summer vacation visit.

As I glanced at the clock on my nightstand, I thought to myself, “His plane should’ve landed thirty minutes ago. I would’ve been at the airport by now had it not been for the phone call…”

Bullshit! Get one of your hoes to bring ya triflin’ ass home!

My mind raced as I stood frozen in the middle of my bedroom. I was on my way out of the door when the phone rang. Thinking it was Jayson trying to catch me before I left the house, I closed the front door and reset the alarm. Without looking at the caller ID display, I answered before the call went to voicemail.

No, it wasn’t my husband on the line. It was his mistress. Or should I say the first one to call my house and ask to speak to me only to apologize…

It took everything in me not to go ballistic in the master bedroom that I decorated alone because my husband claimed he was too busy making the money he spends on me and the kids to help me decorate. “Have fun with it!” he said. Yeah, while my dumb ass was painting walls, he was knocking out backs.

Again.

Why in the hell did I agree to come back to the scene of the crime? Of course he wanted to move back to St. Louis. That’s where all of his favorite sidepieces keep their legs open on standby for him!

Almost every night since the first night we made love, whether I was ready or not, I was a lucky recipient of Jayson’s lovemaking skills. Don’t get me wrong. Jayson can get it in when I guide him but if I let him loose on his own, it’s like a jackrabbit on steroids! I hate to admit it but I was glad there was someone else out there taking that abuse. Then again, this one didn’t care what he did to her or the fact that he had me at home to do it to as long as she got some dick. In the meantime, she’s probably done things to Jayson that I just couldn’t do. It’s not like I don’t know how. I just don’t like wasting my time. My husband doesn’t listen to half of what I say, in or out of the bedroom. So many fights about the littlest things. If he’d just listen to me, we’d both get what we want!

Before Jayson left for New York with our Babies, we had a fight over sex, or should I say the lack thereof. I’d slowed down having sex with my husband because I was having my old suspicions about his recent activities. As much as I didn’t want to come back to St. Louis, I’m here. Only because I trusted him when he said that he wasn’t going to risk losing his family over anything, especially not for another woman.

Long before I married him, when I first questioned Jayson’s fidelity, I did a thorough investigation of all of his belongings shortly after he moved me in with him. Since he spent more of his time at work than at home (or so the lie goes), from the day I did it and every day since then I considered Jayson guilty until proven innocent. I found evidence that time and every time I snooped after that but I couldn’t keep doing that to myself so I put away my detective skills and put my faith in Jayson that he wasn’t cheating anymore. That was, until today. Either I needed to talk to him about this or walk away because not once since we’ve been married have I gone back to my Jealous JaShel ways and I was damn proud of my self-control. If I wanted to, I could get every bit of information I needed to confront Jayson but I chose not to look. I wanted to trust my husband. I needed to trust my husband with my body and my life. If not for me, for our children.

But tonight, I wanted Jayson just for me. I wanted to put my mistrustful thoughts to rest and rebuild my marriage. I wanted to make love to my husband. Especially after what happened before his flight.

Thinking he was trynna get a quickie before I dropped him and the kids off at the airport, Jayson ambushed me in my sleep the morning he left. Waking up with him between my legs used to be so good but I just couldn’t shake the doubts that I was having. I came so close to accusing Jayson of cheating on me that morning but I didn’t. Instead, I fell back on my sex stopper:

“Get the condoms.”

Instant argument.

Preparations for tonight went into effect first thing this morning. It took me most of the week to get over the fight with Jayson. When I realized I actually missed him, I stayed up all last night praying and all this morning shopping. I was trying to get our marriage back on track by preparing a nice romantic return for my sexy husband after his weeklong trip to New York. After a quick striptease in the Victoria’s Secret lingerie Jayson bought me for last Christmas, I was gon’ let him try a few positions on me, now that I knew the proper way of how they should be done. Just each other for dinner, dessert and, if need be, breakfast. I may have to cook dinner for real tomorrow night if things go well.

“Maybe tonight will remind him why he needs to stay his ass at home sometimes cuz dammit I’m willing to try to save my marriage at least one more time, God,” I thought as I lit the last jasmine scented candle.

Looking around at the rose petals I’d sprinkled all over the bed, I pictured my husband lying on the bed calling out my name while my tongue danced on his dick. “The one thing he’s been beggin’ for.”

All of that was shot to shit with one phone call.

Before I could think about kicking off my Nikes, my cell phone rang. Not in the mood for any more surprises, this time I checked to see who was calling.

Jayson.

After a slow deep breath, I answered. “Hello.”

“Hey Babe!” I could imagine the cheesy grin on the bastard’s face. “Are you at the airport yet?”

“No,” I replied coolly, not particularly in a polysyllabic mood. I needed to keep this call short because my window of opportunity dwindled with each minute that I wasted on this… this…

“Babe?!?” Jayson sounded alarmed. “Are you on your cell in the car? You know I hate when you do that, even without the kids in the car. Do you at least have your Bluetooth on?”

He kills me when he goes into Caring Husband mode! Get the fuck out of here!

“I’m at home,” I replied quickly.

“Oh well don’t let me hold you up, Baby. I was just checking to see if you were on your way to pick me up. You know I had to get you something from NY. Can’t wait to see my beautiful lady.”

I bet you say that to all your “ladies”.

“I’ll see you when I get home,” I replied before ending the call abruptly. I could just picture the look on Jayson’s face when he realizes I said “when I get home”. Picking up my purse on the way out of the door, I dialed the number without looking at the keys.

“I’m on my way,” I said, mustering up enough happiness in my voice to throw off any hint of the pain I felt.

“You should be there when he gets home,” he suggested, making me choke on the Vignoles I’d just sipped. I couldn’t believe the suggestion coming from my best friend’s mouth! Antonio Black was as intelligent as he was handsome and successful; three combined talents that were clearly being wasted as he was throwing me back into the lion’s den I’d crawled from to get to him!

“Be there? Why? So he can lie his way out of this?” I asked, fully focusing on Antonio’s face as I tried to figure out who was this imposter sitting across from me! Are all of my men going crazy on me?!? “I don’t want to hear shit he has to say!”

“That may be but this could be what you were looking for,” Antonio said, holding my chin up. “Instead of going on suspicions, you have audible truth that he has at least one mistress. Isn’t adultery one of the reasons you can file for a divorce?”

“I think they call that ‘Alienation of Affection’ but that would be a mutual accusation so I don’t know if that will be enough. And what about my children?” I asked, looking deep into Antonio’s warm brown eyes. “How am I supposed to raise three children by myself?”

“Would it be better to raise them alone or with him fucking everything with a pussy?” Antonio asked. “Is that the kind of role model you want for your children? For your sons? Your daughter?”

Standing up from the couch, I looked back at the lithe muscular figure lounging behind me.

“And before you say it, yes, you can do it,” he smiled as he stood up next to me. “It’s not like you’ll be completely alone; I’ll be there when you need me. I always will be.”

Hugging him close to me, I didn’t want to let Antonio go. But I had to face reality. And my cheating husband.

Even taking every street from Antonio’s to home didn’t prepare me for my husband’s return. As I pulled into the driveway behind Jayson’s Chrysler 300, a taxi stopped in front of the house. I didn’t bother to wait while my husband paid his fare and emerged from the cab’s backseat. He caught up to me just as I entered our home.

“Baby!” Jayson called out angrily as I walked upstairs straight to our bedroom. Silently, I walked into the jasmine scented fog left over from the blown out candles as I continued the task of physically dismantling the evening’s preparations since my husband’s mistress’ confession had already started that ball rolling. “Baby, is everything OK?” my husband asked, his tone softened at the sight of the room. “We got cut off and every time I tried to call back, it went straight to voicemail. You didn’t sound like yourself, Shel. Did something happen while I was gone? Are you OK?” Jayson stood in the doorway watching me as I swept my side of the bed of the rose petals I’d sprinkled earlier. I watched Jayson as he watched me. “JaShel.”

“T-I-P-H-N-I.”

“T…” Jayson looked like he pissed on himself. “Babe, I can explain.”

“Explain why Tiphni or Tip Funny or Whatever-The-Fuck-Her-Name is calling here asking to speak to Jayson’s wife,” I said quietly as I sat on my side of the bed. “Last time I checked, Jayson’s wife had a name. Care to tell me who Tiphni is, JaShel’s husband?” My light sweater barely concealed the slow deep breaths I was taking to keep myself from passing out.

“I don’t know why she would call you, Baby,” he said. Lying came too damn easy to those soft sexy lips.

She wanted to throw salt in your game? She wanted to clear her conscience? Who gives a fuck?!? You know what I want you to say, dammit!

“So you know who she is,” I smiled, genuinely intrigued.

“She was a temp at the office,” he explained. “She stopped working for us months ago.”

I chuckled at the word. Temp. That’s what all jumpoffs are: a temporary replacement for a real woman. Now if only my husband would realize he’s about to lose the real woman he claims to love.

“That doesn’t explain the call, Jayson,” I said calmly, making an effort not to tap my foot while I impatiently waited for my husband to share the lies he had to clear his ass. “She called to apologize.” I didn’t want to give him all of the details. Maybe he’ll actually tell the truth to clear his name. Not saying it’ll work but’cha neva know!

“Apologize?” Jayson parroted.

“Look,” I said as I began to undress. “If you want to drag this out, I’ve got all night. You’re the one that just came home after a five hour flight so we can talk ‘til you pass out for all I care but you’re going to tell me what the hell is going on. Tonight.” Standing fully nude, I knew I was testing Jayson’s willpower: tell the truth and maybe get a lil sumthin sumthin or lie and get the couch cuz he knows Wifey gives no ass when she’s mad!

“Baby…” Jayson began as he took a step toward me. Taking another step and another until he was standing at the foot of the bed, he reached for my hand. “She didn’t mean anything.”

“She didn’t mean anything, Jayson?” I said, pulling my hand back. “Why is she apologizing? She said she was causing problems for us. We’re having problems, Jayson? Is that the story you told her to keep her from attempting to see you more than you wanted to see her? Jayson, I need to know why Tiphni is apologizing to me for causing problems for us.”

“She was just sex, Baby. Nothing more,” Jayson quietly explained as he tentatively stepped closer to me. “I only saw her a couple of times but that was it. I didn’t give her the house number so she must’ve looked us up in the White Pages or something.”

The gentle breeze from the central air unit kicking on felt extremely cool on my cheek. Wiping tears away, I asked, “Why?”

“Baby, it was nothing but sex.”

“I guess you forgot you were married,” I half-laughed. “You have someone to have sex with. In your bed. Every night.”

“But you don’t…”

“I don’t what, Jayson? I don’t have sex with you? I don’t do everything you ask me to?”

Finally, he had some life in him!

“Everything, JaShel? Don’t give me that shit! One blow job doesn’t mean you’ve done everything! You have no problem with me eating you out but damn me for wanting some reciprocation!”

“First of all, gnawing at my pussy isn’t the same as eating it!” I spat, snatching my satin robe from the bed and wrapping it around my body. “Second, there’s more to life than blow jobs, Jayson!”

“I know, JaShel, but it’s still nice to get them!” Jayson exclaimed as he stormed over to his side of the bed. “Baby, I love you but you don’t want to do anything more than the same old positions! Just us, no toys, no video. And only in the bedroom?!? Come on, Baby, there are way more places to make love!”

Oh, I had to laugh at that one!

“Are you kidding me? Jayson, you don’t make love to me! You chew and suck on my pussy then ram your dick into me until you cum!”

“If you wanted me to do something else, you could’ve said so!” he barked.

“So could you, Jayson,” I said, glaring at my husband. “How am I’m wrong for not blowing you when you’d rather have it done by some trick at the office?!?”

Throwing his hands in the air, he said, “Hey, nobody told me it was wrong! Besides, I didn’t want to do it in the first place!”