The First Day of His Last Turn

“Every morning I see you ahead of me.

I have travelled around the world a thousand of times,

But I still haven’t reached you.

Maybe, tomorrow I’ll reach the edge of the world.”

— Captain Tribolios I of the Long Way Up

“Reporting for duty!”, Quentin said with a smile when he walked through the door to the bridge. His father turned around, looking at his son. “Tomorrow, my final trip starts.” he answered with a sigh that seemed to hold both relief and sadness. He looked around the bridge that had been his home for the last thirty years of his life. The steel grey walls on three sides, and the huge window looking out the front of the ship to the clear blue sky and the edge of the Atlantic ocean far below. There were no clouds below them so the land was clearly visible below and the shore cut like a straight line between the green/brown of the Americas and the dark blue Atlantic Ocean. Looking toward the horizon white clouds showed an indistinct edge between sky and ocean.

“Soon I’ll reach the edge of the world”, he said with a wry smile, quoting the old Streamer-poem. “Welcome home my son! I’m glad that you are here again, it has been too long” Finally showing the smile Quentin haven’t seen in person for ten years.

“This moment needs a bit more ceremony.”, Anta said with a dry chuckle. Quentin finally noticed the two other people in the room. The two people seated at the round table in the center of the room felt like each other’s opposites. What made the difference even more distinct was the table. Dark old wood, heavy with age, and showing much use. The old table felt completely out of place with the metal floor and walls, the computer screens filling all walls. It fit perfectly though with the three older men in the room. Or not men, Anta, who was saying something more that Quentin didn’t pick up was in her fifties, broad over the shoulders and dressed in dark army fatigues. Her face bore a scar over the left cheek from below her eye and down to her cheek. Her short grey hair and the look in her eyes spoke of having seen the dark side of life. Things she rather would have never seen again yet seemed to accept which gave her the iron will she was so famous for and the rather dark humor that would show itself at the most strange of times. As long as Quentin remembered, Anta had always been the first to chastise him when he slacked off, but also the first to laugh at his boyhood pranks, as long as they didn’t interfere with their duties. The other man sitting at the table was a thin man in man in his forties. He still had dark hair with a start of grey at his temples. He wore a strict blue uniform and radiated a strict patience. It was like he was indulging children that had lost focus during school and was waiting for them to tire of it and move back to their homework.. David stood up, straightened himself, let his arms rest at his sides, and with a formal voice he seemed to repeat words that he must’ve learnt long ago but was still fresh in his heart: “Welcome to the circle of three. We are here to redistribute, defend, and teach. Are you ready to accept your duties?” Quentin feeling the seriousness of the situation mimicked the older man. He stood up straighter, looked him in the eyes and said: “I am ready.” The three men who now stood in a line looking at him, answered: “For the greater good.”.

“For the greater good.”, Quentin answered them. He both felt light and heavy at the same time. Lightness for this was the moment he had been working so hard to get to for the last ten years. The heaviness from the pressure of responsibilities he would have for the next thirty years of his life.

“In one Turn you will replace your father as the captain of this ship… If you can pass the tests. You have been away for many years now training at the Academy. You have worked hard, but now the real work begins. This is reality and things are not as simple as in a simulation.

Quentin chuckled, thinking back on some of the impossible simulations he had been forced to redo over and over again at the Academy.

David snapped, “I know you feel well prepared and invincible now, but in a few weeks you will be weeping for the simplicity of the simulations.”

Quentin, his face red with embarrassment, felt that he had failed even before the tests had started. What is the shortest time anyone has been sent back to the Academy in disgrace? He thought to himself. It can’t be shorter than five minutes.

Anta after struggling to keep a straight face for a few seconds started laughing. “I’m looking forward to some young cockiness and foolhardiness. It was a long time since I felt young. I’m looking forward to serving with you the next ten years until I move on as well.” David looked sternly at Anta and looked about to say something when Quentin’s father interrupted

“The responsibility is not yours yet. I will be your Shadow during this Turn, it is Anta’s and David’s job to evaluate and test you, I am here for support and backup. Good luck my son!” Then with a salute he said: “The bridge is yours captain, what is your first command?”

Quentin’s mind was in an instant empty of all thought. The sudden realization that he was now completely responsible for the lives of the hundreds of people living on the ship and for all the people that he would help by transporting the goods to keep them supplied and the soldiers to defend them. It left him feeling dumbfounded, inadequate and scared shitless at the same time. After what felt like an eternity, but was probably only a few, seconds he stammered: “What do you suggest?”

David showing a bit of a smile said, “That is probably the wisest thing anyone has ever said on this bridge.” Anta’s booming laugh echoed across the bridge as she and David went to the door to welcome the crew back into the bridge. “It is time you met your crew, but before that. For gods sake Brian, give your son a hug!”

The hug from his father left Quentin with tears in his eyes, and this moment started to feel real to him. As the people on watch came back into the room Quentin took the time to look around the bridge to. This is it, he thought. He took a deep breath, put on a smile to hide his nervousness, and walked with what he hoped showed confidence around the bridge to meet some of the people under his command.

Quentin’s mind felt filled with a numbing fog, after what felt like an eternity of constant talking, trying to learn names of the new people in the crew, catching up with the people he knew and projecting a positive attitude through it all. He was extremely happy but at the same time felt overwhelmed with everything. He walked out from the bridge took a left heading towards his family’s old rooms, when he realized he had no idea where he was staying or where his luggage had been taken. He had just left it with one of the ship’s Runners and then went straight to the bridge. That is a problem for later, I want to meet my mother.

Coming up to the bulkhead door of his family’s rooms a sense of homesickness came over him. Knocking on the door, he heard his mother call from inside: “Come on in, it is open.” He opened the bulkhead door and walked into the apartment. He longed for seeing the paintings his mother was so found of making, the smell of incense and paint all mixed into one. Except when he walked in, the apartment was completely empty. Nothing was there except for his two bags lying on the table in the middle of the common room. “What has happened with all your things, mother?”, he almost yelled. The lithe woman walking out from his old room had a huge smile on her lips. Her hair now completely grey yet still fell long and full down her shoulders. She was dressed in the white loose clothing she was so fond of wearing.

“It is not all gone, we left your room just like it was when you left for the Academy.”

“But where are your things?”, he said again, having no idea what was happening.

“Quentin, these are the Captain’s quarters. These are your rooms now, we moved to one of the cabin’s a few doors down the hall.”

She walked up to him and gave him a long warm hug, whispering in his ear

“Welcome home my son! We have missed you so much.”

Quentin leaned into the familiar embrace and started to feel himself relax and felt tears running down his cheeks. I am home! A long moment later his mother gave him a kiss on the cheek. “We have brought some food from the mess, come by for dinner when you have unpacked your things.”

His mother left Quentin in his rooms. The common room in the middle was four by four meters with a dinner table with four chairs in the middle of the room, a couch against one wall, empty shelves along the walls spoke of the large library his mother and father had kept here. It was not completely empty though, on the bottom shelf, there was one book that they seemed to have forgotten. He picked up the leather-bound book. It was quite small and was called the History of the World. There was a bookmark put into the middle of the book. He opened the book and saw that the bookmark was actually a piece of canvas torn from what must have been one of his mother’s paintings. The chapter, he had opened the book to, was called ‘Why violence was and never will be the answer’. Quentin closed the book leaving the bookmark where it was and put it back into the shelves. The many impressions, thoughts and feelings made him forget the book the second he put it on the shelf. He walked into his parent’s old room. A new bed had been put into the room for him, and he realized that this was where he was supposed to sleep from now on. And when he really became captain on this ship he was supposed to bring his chosen, Sarah, here to stay with him. The thought didn’t give him that much comfort, as it should have.

Walking into his old room the sight and smells filled him with childhood memories. The posters on the wall were 10 years old but he still remember how much he used to love the band No one can hear you Stream!, his desk held the model he had been working on when he left, it was a replica of a Spitfire, an airplane used during the Second World War. A war over 200 years old, but still used as a warning example in schools all over UNN on what would happen if we don’t stand united, that we must fight for the greater good. Going out into the common room again, his bags did not look adequate to fill these rooms. To keep his mind off all the things happening, he needed to do something with his hands so he started to unpack his things into his parent’s old bedroom. My bedroom.

An hour later, walking into his parent’s new rooms felt like a huge relief. The smell of incense and paint was there. His father and mother sat the table talking in angry voices. “You can not start this now and leave Quentin with the mess…” his mother said, stopping in mid sentence when Quentin walked in. His father stood up and gave him a strong hug when he walked up to the table. Quentin wanted to ask what they talked about, when his mother interrupted his thoughts by uncovering the plates of food.

“We asked the kitchen to make your favorite food from when you were young. Everyone is having hamburgers and fries tonight. You are now officially the hero of everyone under 14 years of age on the ship.”

With a dramatic sigh, “Thank you for your help in giving me a professional image towards the crew, mom.”

“It’s good to show that you are a person, and not a machine.” his father said seriously. “And this is actually really good.”, he finished the sentence with a laugh.

They started eating and talking about the last ten years. It felt strange to talk to them in person after ten years with only monthly communications allowed during the Academy. After talking for a long time it seemed like the conversation was moving in circles around the thing they were most curious about. The paragraphs and sentences started weaving in closer and closer until it felt like there was no question left but the one his father asked.

“Tell us about your chosen. We have been dying to hear more of her.” His father’s voice held a bit of sadness in it, like he was trying to put on a happy face yet at the same time was biting off the words one at a time. Quentin was torn. He was supposed to love Sarah with all his heart; the Chooser said that they are a perfect match. But he just didn’t feel it. Could the Chooser have made a mistake? All these thoughts were flying around in his mind. The conversation had come to a stand still, Quentin looked down at his plate. His mother said softly,

“When me and your dad were chosen I held extreme doubt in my heart. Who was this Chooser, this machine to tell me what I wanted, what I needed? But I had now choice, and neither did your father. When I first met him, I was really disappointed.” His father rolled his eyes. “But when I got to know him I realized that we fit extremely well together and I came to love him. But it takes time and hard work. You just have to remember that the Chooser is there to make sure that no unnecessary conflicts happen onboard the ships. The ships and their Captains are too important to allow them to just randomly choose their partners.”

“I know,” Quentin answered. “It just felt really strange meeting her. She was jubilant when she saw me, threw herself around my neck. It felt fake somehow. It was a nice to spend that last day with her but I’m not sure.”

His father guffawed “A ‘nice’ evening, huh?”

“Not like that.” Quentin responded, “And I seriously don’t want to hear crude jokes from my father, especially when my mother is sitting next to me.”