How to Use Advice
The irony of this section is not lost on me, I am providing advice for how to take advice and the best I can do is provide the following disclaimer:
I am not an expert in any way. The advice I provide and the insight I share is based on personal thoughts and reflections on my own experiences. The advice that follows is just a suggestion and should certainly be taken with at least one grain of salt.
Really, all I ask of you is to give what I suggest some thought. Don’t dismiss anything outright but rather consider it for at least a moment. Just as the first thing you want to say to someone is likely not the best thing to say, it may also be the case that your first reaction to someone’s advice (in this case, mine) may not be the most appropriate reaction.
But I digress…
Advice is something that everyone is capable of providing. Many are eager to do so when given the opportunity. We are inundated with advice from internet articles, TV shows, parents, friends, and social networks and this onslaught of advice can be too much to make any sense of. Don’t fret! There’s a solution, and it comes in the form of a procedure.
1. Collect Advice
The amount of advice you collect depends on how critical the situation is. If it’s advice about what breakfast to eat, you don’t really need too many sources to move on and make a decision but if it’s a major life choice you’re facing, it’s wise to spend a lot of time thinking about the choice, enumerating various options, and collecting advice from people with different perspectives. Researching choices related to products or services is effective online, but more personal issues are much better to hash out with friends and family.
2. Assess The Sources
Decide how much you trust the source of the advice. It might help to quantify the amount of trust on a scale (1 to 10 is a common and effective choice). However, this step can often be completed just as well in a more natural way. Learn to trust your gut feeling on sources of advice and information. This is a simple process when you are deliberately asking for advice. It’s quite likely that you’ll ask advice from people you trust and whose opinions and insights you value, so the decision to trust those sources has already been made. Internet sources should generally have lower trust levels, especially when the source provides advice about very personal life decisions. Be careful with what you read online.
People who have experienced your situation before are relatively trustworthy sources of advice simply because they have an ability to empathize with your scenario and can more readily understand the nuances of a situation that may otherwise go unnoticed.
3. Observe commonalities in the Advice Provided
Common themes or suggestions in advice highlight solutions that multiple people have had success with previously. Of course, it is up to you to determine if the situation you are considering is similar enough to say that the advice fits. If you are looking for a successful outcome, it is wise to take actions that have proven successful in the past.
4. Clarify Advice With Sources
If it’s an internet source, re-read the post or article if you are considering action based on its recommendations. You’ll be able to catch any misunderstandings you’ve had previously and might avoid a mistake. If you’ve received advice from friends and family, or from an experienced mentor, it may be beneficial to have one last discussion with them so that you can iron out the finer details of the advice. Ask any questions that may have come up while you’ve been thinking about the advice provided, or just ask for some support and encouragement. Be prepared for tough love. There are certainly times where you will get good advice that you don’t want to hear or act on. Make sure you have trusted sources (people with more experience than you) so that you know you can trust the tough kind of advice.
5. Measure the Advice against Your Values
This is the most important step. I’ve mentioned my values, and I think that everyone can benefit greatly from similarly pondering and writing out their own core values. Doing so provides a solid base of ideas on which tough decisions can be made and your daily life can be built around. Use your values to determine if the advice you are receiving will sit well with you on a moral level. Are you fundamentally accepting of the advice or does it leave you feeling uneasy? Perhaps the uneasiness comes from uncertainty or perhaps it is because it goes against one of your core values. If it’s the latter, you should keep looking for more advice. If it’s simple uneasiness from uncertainty, remember that some risk will be inevitable. There is no way to perfectly predict the future. Just be certain that you’ve done your diligent amount of considering the options before moving on, and then be confident in your choice.
6. Take Action
Do what was suggested to you. Act efficiently on the advice and don’t hesitate. At this point you should know that a desirable outcome is likely, that your sources are sufficiently knowledgeable and trustworthy in this circumstance, and that the actions and outcomes you wish to observe align with your core values. You really won’t have anything to worry about.