Chapter 6

I’m usually a pretty confident person. I’m successful, I’m well-educated, I think I’m pretty good looking, I have a boyfriend who loves me. But walking into the bar that had been rented out for the release party, I felt like my awkward 15-year-old self, about to walk into her first dance. The ease with which Erica handled this made me feel even more nervous; why couldn’t I keep my shit together?

Not wanting to seem like a crazy alcoholic, I walked us around the bar the long way instead of bee-lining to it, then waited for the bartender to serve the other customers. I don’t know if he was picked for tonight specifically, but the very obvious muscles under his thin white shirt and the perfect smile he flashed me had me stunned for a moment. Erica stepped in and ordered quickly to let me recover and I asked him for the same; a Grey Goose and tonic with lemon. Erica has been ordering that same drink for ages, but I hadn’t thought to try it until a few months ago; it instantly became my drink of choice.

After handing him a card for the tab, I took a seat on one of the stools, looking outward as I sipped my drink. “So what do people do at an event like this?”

Erica leaned back against the bar and said, “Drink, mingle, get swag, and get your books signed. Some folks from Collective are also here and wanted to grab dinner afterwards; I’m probably going to go, depending on how much I drink.”

“Have you seen her yet? I’m guessing she’s in that mob of people over in the corner, but I haven’t seen her at all. I can’t imagine being in a room where every single person knows who you are and wants your undivided attention. I kinda feel bad for her, you know?”

Erica thought about what I said for a moment and then chuckled to herself. “If she’s anything like her leading ladies, she’s nothing if not an extrovert; she’s probably eating this up. Plus, you want more of her attention than anyone here, hooker.” I blushed a deep red and she grinned in response; she knew how right she was.

“Hey, none of that. I’m just here for a nice evening out and to get a copy of her new book early.”

“Sure, we’ll go with that. You’re getting low already. Want to grab another drink and find some of the Collective folks?” She finished her own drink and twisted around to put it on the bar.

“Sounds good to me. At least around them you won’t pick on me.” We ordered a second round as I downed the rest of my glass, then made our way over to the group of women wearing Collins’ Collective t-shirts; we had found our people.

After some introductions, we all chatted like old friends. Book people have a way of making you feel included, even if you were a relative newcomer. One of the ladies – Sonya – had seen my intro post in the group and remembered that I worked in biotech; she was a biology student and was interested to hear about my work. We rearranged the circle we were standing in to be next to each other, then talked science for half an hour. After friending each other on Facebook, we agreed to talk later, and Erica and I went back to the bar to restock.

After we got settled at the bar, I casually said, “Looks like I wasn’t the only one who made a new friend.” Shortly after I split away from the group to speak with Sonya, I saw Erica do the same with another woman. Except I saw a lot more flirting going on there than in our conversation.

She just smiled and sipped her drink. “It’s a good night, isn’t it?”

A short time later, I saw someone go onto the small stage in the corner and tap the microphone to verify it was working. I didn’t recognize her, but she was wearing a Collins’ Collective shirt. She called the crowd to attention and then began.

“Thank you all for coming out tonight. We’re here to celebrate the imminent release of ‘Admiring the Infinite’, by our very own Dani Collins.” The crowd cheered and applauded at this, and for the first time in a long time, I felt like I was a part of something bigger than myself. Bigger than the people that were in this room.

“It feels like just yesterday, we were here for the release of ‘Velocity’. Then again, I’ve been beta-reading this book since the early days; it hasn’t felt so quick for some of you! But now we’re here so that Dani can ruin your life again. So without further ado, come on up.” The crowd went wild as Dani climbed onto the stage and took her place behind the pedestal, saying something to the other woman and laughing.

“Thanks, April, for the introduction, and thank you all for coming. My fans mean the world to me and it warms my heart to see a packed house for a book release.” She paused and her smile sent tingles down my spine. Pushing a stray brown hair behind her ear, she continued. “I know that you’re all eager to get your hands on ‘Infinite’ before everyone else, but I wanted to read you all my favorite scene and do a little Q&A first.”

She opened a copy of the book to what looked like about a quarter of the way in and began to read. Her voice was slow and steady, the rhythm driving itself into my mind. All I can think is: I would give my right arm to have her read me a bedtime story.

“Travis stood at the door to their apartment, his hand on the doorknob. He looked poised to leave, but something was holding him back. He turned to face her and spoke calmly, ‘This is the last time, Elizabeth. This can never happen again. I hope you know that.’ She ran to him and fell into his chest, her tears transferring mascara to his white t-shirt.

“She pulled herself away and then kissed him hard, mewling, ‘If this is really it, make it count.’ They kissed in the way that only old lovers do, with a passion that is only matched by their knowledge of each other’s desires. The sadness of the situation melted away as they realized, in their own way, that it was always going to end.”

“They had been in this bedroom often enough to not rush, so they stood gazing at each other for a few moments after the last of the clothes had been shed, before they fell into each other. She bit his neck gently as he slid into her, the way he had so many times before. There was no awkward mismatch of rhythm, no poorly thought out words. Just them at the end.

“The pace accelerated as he looked into her eyes, silently begging for release as she wrapped her legs around him and pulled him in tighter. Their breathing – initially in synch – became more and more ragged as they neared the edge together for the last time. He pushed himself more up on his arms to give a better angle and thrust harder and faster into her, driving her off the cliff and giving her just what she needed.

“She let out a low moan as her body began to shake, her muscles drawn tight as bowstrings as the orgasm ripped through her. A few moments later, he drove as deep as he could and let go, his essence flowing into her as he similarly convulsed.

“He stayed for a last few dying thrusts before his arms gave out and he rolled off to her side, deftly managing to not hurt her in the process. He took her hand and laid it on his chest as he regained control of his breathing, then lifted her hand to give it a light kiss, before he got up and got dressed.

“‘Just remember,’ he whispered. ‘I will always love you, even as infinity is looking back at us.’ Then he walked out the door and out of her life.”

When Dani finished reading, the silence was deafening. Unsure of how to feel, we slowly began to clap, then to cheer. If she meant to turn us on, confuse us, and make us cry all at once, she had succeeded admirably. God, she’s good at what she does.