Chapter 1

Amelia woke up with a start. It took a second to take hold of her surroundings and to remember that she was in her house bedroom, in a small room she had shared with herself ever since she was old enough not to share it with her sister. It was her room. It was not where she thought she had been mere minutes ago, when she had dreamt of being touched and kissed in a lush hotel room. No, it was her bedroom. Someone with a good hearing would have heard her say «Thank God».

Less then a minute after her having waken up, her alarm went off and she decided that if the universe was conspiring against her being fast asleep in a dreamless state, then she might actually get up and read for work. Work.

How could she go to work today. She was sure everyone would know, that from the moment she would step out of the block of flats she was living in, people who stare and point at her. It was going to be one of those hated days when she would feel as if the center of the world, and in a no good way. Fuck.

Work. Was she really needed there, was she going to be missed … maybe, maybe not, maybe she was feeling sick, was she feeling sick, uhm, maybe if she did not wear any make up, she could pass as sick. Yes, that could be the best idea she had come up with yet. No make up, no feeling good face, and the idea that she was about to be feverish. How does one fake a fever?

Really, no one would miss her at work. no one would realise that the office is not opened when they would come in, no one would realise that no one fetched the coffee, no one would realise that nothing is prepared for the various shoots of the day. Yeah. Right. She was screwed hard. She had to go to work even if it was going to be the worst day ever.

Reading her book in the subway, she was trying to act as if it was a day like any other. It was. Really was. It had to be. Everyday is different to the next but in essence they are the same. even the day after. Especially the day after. Otherwise ackwardness was bound to ensue. Reading the adventure of a lonely woman was not the best idea, but ti kept her mind occupied. So occupied that she stopped reading after two station to finish the way to the center of town looking outside.

Snow was slowly falling on SkyCity and gave it a look of fairytale. For now. Once the car will drive through it, once the people will smash innocent looking flakes under their dirty shoes, once pollution will makes its day work, then the lovely whiteness of the flakes would turn to grey and to mush. Snow was falling on SkyCity and Amelia was wondering if it was going to be the metaphor for her life.

Living magical moments only to have life crash trhough it and dessimate the lovely thought, the happy touchs, the not so innocent laughters, and live everyone behind with a sense of having known something eutiful only to have life taken it back from them.

Sighing, she left the subway train and walked though the loud and warm corridors only to take a deep breath once outside. The polluted air of SkyCity and the cold snap behind it. She really loved this town. It was hers since birth and even if she had not been to the good part of it until quite recently, she had known most of it by heart before she had reached puberty.

A girl should not run with boys, but her gang of lady had been running with the guys for so long that only the sudden change of shape and forms had taken a toll on thei adventure. She had started to eye men with suspicion then, when the innocence had started to leave them slowly. Suspicion toward men and then the big love of her young life who had finally dumped her during her first year of university. He had discovered other girls, other bodies, other way to have sex and he had been clear. She was boring.

The key entered the hole and clicked, her fingers touched the alarm screen and deactivated the alarm. Before she knew it she had run through all the usual morning chore and was just waiting for the first assistant to arrive so she could make a dash to the coffee shop at the corner.

A medium latte. Two large americano. A double shot flatwhite with soy. A double shot latte with the syrup of the day on top. A green tea.

The good thing was that this order was well known by all parties involved and the barista knew her time of arrival at the coffee shop. Unless there was a ridiculous long queue, she was sure her order had been started before she even entered the shop. Matthew was a lovely genius who had figured out the new assistant of Josh Marshall was not to be fucked around with.

A sister, two little brothers, an army of cousins and a mother that did not care for much. Amelia had grown up knowing how to make herself heard and obeyed.

How to be touched and loved, that was another story. But she wasn’t about to enter into those line of thoughts as she greated Johan and yet another lost puppy behind him.

«What’s his favorite? - A double shot peppermint mocchachino»

Hipster where getting worse and worse in their choice of beverage but she was not paid enought to complain about the taste of Johan’s string of boyfriends.

«Okay, see you in a minute. - Can we have muffins please? or, you like doughnuts …?»

Great. Doughnuts. Right. This was going to be a very long day if even from the beginning of it hints at something that had happened the day before where spoken using a crytpic language she had no knwledge of.

«There are leftovers. I’ll get muffins. Don’t bother with the toilet, someone broke them and repair should arrive soon. Ish. That’s what they said. Don’t break anything.»

This last sentence was directed toward the newbie that would be gone as soon as he would have a coffee in his belly and a stale doughnuts from the previous day. Johan needed to find a wealthy man that would take care of him, not another starving artist who thought that earning mo,ney was for sell-outs. Those were the worst. She knew, she was enrolled at Carlyle, the local liberal uni that thanksfully was doing a reach-out programm for talented kids with no money in their parents bank account. She was poor, she had talent, and she had been accepted with a full scholarship. But it meant having to deal on a daily basis with the same kind of poeple that Johan loved to date. The worst.

Then again. Who was she to judge, with her second hand clothes and a liking for expansive silk to wrap her hair with. To each its own.

Coffee. Smell of coffee. Lovely coffee. Soon she would feel alive again.

«Gimme five and it’s all yours!» shouted the barista as she appeared in the not so crowded place. Smiling she walked to the till and asked for 5 muffins, bran, vegan, the kind she rolled her eyes at and asked for a non-vegan cupcake, the kind she would eat waiting for her coffee and then be able to fake liking the bran monstruosity. Not that they were not good, but no, she really did not like them.

The sweet smell of cinnamon made her sigh with pleasure. it was winter, it was a time she loved more than anything. People were overdressed and she liked nothing better than to see how artfully they were piling thigns on, to create a unique person under the layering.

«Hello there pretty lady, have you thought of my proposal?» George was asking her to marry him, once more and once more she was going to say «no, ask me in twenty years» and they would laugh and share a bit of gossip as to what was happening in the street, in the neighborhood. She would miss all that once she had to go back upstate for the begining of the year, she really would miss SkyCity but she had this semester in the countryside to take up first before coming back to her beloved town.

Walking back with the muffins and the coffees, plus the green tea for Josh, Amelia was smiling. She had to. She was happy even if slightly miffed at why she was happy. She really should not be happy. except she was feeling good and usually when she was feeling good, she felt happy. But why should she be feeling good. Wasn’t what she had done somethnig that good girls, normal girls, do not under any circumstances do?

The strong desire to trow her coffee to the wall and walk back to her flat, and hop in her bed to hide under the covers was very tempting. But first, first she had to calm herself down and stop over analysing things. Maybe good girls did that. But most probably not.

The team had made it while she was out and coffee round was quickly put behind her as she walked in the studio to prepare it for a family shooting; Why Josh kept on making those when he was the hottest photograph in the state was beyond her, but she wasn’t paid to think, only to do. She was not even paid to think about it.

Not hearing josh enter the room, she jumped when he whispered «Hello» in her ears and almost dumped her list.

«Don’t do that ever again Mister Marshall, or I may end up punching you in the face when you least expect it, oh don’t look at me like that, I have been known to do such things, so beware.»

Josh chuckled.

«It’s Josh, and Terrence wishes to have your number by the way. Almost gave it to him but you know, I thought I’d ask before.

• Mister Marshall, sir, as long as I am your employee I will call you Mister Marshall as I have been calling you for the apst weeks. And there is no way you are giving out my number to this charming man. Thank you for asking.
• Amelia. Please, can we talk about it, at least?
• The name calling or the phone number giving?» she gave him her best smile and turned around, going back to her duties.

That was the worst idea ever she thought. Having gone to work after the events of the day before. Worst idea ever. Damn fool that she was, thinking that everything was going to be fine. No, it was not going to be fine. Ever. Three weeks and the ordeal of having to be spending her days with John was going to be over. Three weeks. She could do it. She definitely could do it. It was not as if they had shared fluids in the office and in the studio and dropped coffee all over the floor that now had the kind of stain that would never want to leave. Yeah, three weeks were going to be an ordeal.