The “Dear Evil Tester” Letters

The hardest part of coming up with the answers was what to sign off as.

Should it be E, or Uncle E, or Auntie Evil, etc. etc.

You can see the range of titles I used.

If you have a favourite then feel free to adopt it as your email signature, I won’t charge you.

Are you truly evil?

Dear Vernon,

Probably neither.

In an attempt to make this section more interactive I offer you more options.

Could it be:

1. I’m deliberately engaging in false advertising for shock effect.
2. I can’t spell. I meant to write “live” tester, incorrectly wrote it as “vile” tester and hastily corrected it to “evil” tester. And now I have to live with this vile tag forever. Poor poor pitiful me.
3. I got drunk and, well… you know how it goes.
4. insert your plausible answer here

E.

When is testing not required?

Hi Yogesh,

I like questions with flippant answers. So, of course the answer is “Whenever they want”. They can equally say “Bibble Bibble” whenever they want.

But I suspect you want a less flippant and more scientific answer (Bwahaha).

My first Google search for “% of IT projects that fail” provided me with a scientific range of “62 - 68”%. I will make this complicated statistic easy for my readers by conclusively stating that 70% of IT projects fail.

Therefore, I can conclude that 100% of people on 70% of IT projects can say “Testing is not required for this particular product” and they can hold their heads up high in the hope that the project was doomed anyway. Pretty good odds.

Consequently we only have to concern ourselves with the 100% of people involved in 30% of IT projects.

We all know that “you can’t test quality into a product” therefore I can use this to conclude that the product will either be quality or it won’t, so we can’t use ‘quality’ as a justification for testing.

So basing my judgement on the preceding science; I can say: if a person has the power to cause the project to fail, then they can say “testing is not required”, at the point they make the decision to doom the project.

Making rocket science look easy,

Oncle E.

Why are you evil?

Hi George,

Thanks for asking. Its not often people ask that. Actually they do. And I give lots of answers. So here is one. Ask again and you might get another.

Testers very often don’t think that they can go beyond the norms.

They think they need permission.

The point is we don’t need permission.

We should do whatever it takes.

We should be using the system as a system. We should manipulate it.

It is one of the few things that we can manipulate without consequence, without worrying about its feelings. We can do whatever we want to it. We can act however we need to, to fulfil our part in the project.

We have to do things to the system that no-one else will do.

Things that no one else is prepared to do.

Things that no-one else can even conceptualise that it is something that you would ever want to do.

I use the term “Evil”, to give me the freedom and flexibility to do that.

Hope that helps,

Cap’n E of the Good Ship ‘vil

PS. Do whatever it takes.

PPS. You can tell your boss I said so.

How do you deal with a developer with attitude?

Hi Baz,

I have similar problems. Since I too am always right I occasionally butt heads with a misguided developer who thinks that they are more right than me.

If you are 100% sure that they are not right, and have evidence, then let the evidence speak for itself. Of course the evidence may have to speak to the developer’s manager since the developer can always block out the evidence through clever selective listening.

Sometimes I find it useful to compromise. Let them win half the argument, wait till they’ve fixed half of what you want. Then start up the argument later and fight for the second half.

Sometimes I listen to the developer, and sometimes when I do that I find myself being influenced by their argument, because sometimes they are not wrong. (I hate it when this happens.)

I’ve always liked these words “The Gestalt Prayer” by Fritz Perls from “Gestalt Therapy Verbatim” and when I remember them, they help me.

  I do my thing and you do your thing.
  I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,
  And you are not in this world to live up to mine.
  You are you, and I am I,
  and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful.
  If not, it can't be helped.

Hope that helps,

Team Dynamics Therapist Evil