Thus Spoke the Programmer
Thus Spoke the Programmer
A Fictional Memoir
About the Book
The critically acclaimed memoir. Anecdotes, aphorisms, assertions, assumptions, quips, thrusts, japes and screeds.
Don't let the title put you off if you're not a programmer. The book is guaranteed to delight both technical and non-technical readers alike.
About the Author
Table of Contents
- A Fictional Memoir
- Pain in the Neck
- Daddy’s Home
- A Strong Hand on the ‘Rudder’
- Incan Gold
- If Fame is What You Seek
- Whale Cams
- Wasted Time
- Overpromise and Underdeliver
- Overheard I
- Pizzas and Programmers
- Overheard II
- It May Depend on the Temperature of the Coffee
- The Dopeler Effect
- Thoughts on Starting a New Job
- Mentoring
- Refrigerators
- Things That Pop Up and Poke You in the Eye
- Good News, Bad News
- Milestones
- Don’t Invite Me
- A Brilliant Waste of Time
- Teaching Computer Science
- Minimizing Retention
- Profiles in Management: The Liar
- Christmas at the Office
- Inspired Idiocy
- More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of I
- Diplomacy
- No Work Today
- I’ve Lost Another Friend
- Always “Ass…”
- Bubbles and Lines
- Goofus on Software
- More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of II
- The Death of Alan Turing
- More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of III
- The Programmer’s Interview Tips: You’re a 10 in Everything
- Hard Deadlines
- Passive-Aggressive Team Members
- I Object to Doing Things That Don’t Make Sense
- Time
- Risky Business
- I Am a Programmer
- Time-Saving Tips
- When is Diversity Not a Dilemma?
- Working Late
- You Can Have My Job
- Teaching Computer Science: Remembering Names
- Americans are Mathematically Illiterate
- Stuff They Don’t Teach You in School
- Global Warming
- Into the Digital Abyss
- If You Love It So Much, Why Don’t You Marry It?
- This Scam Still Needs a Little Work
- Man Plans, God Laughs
- Crafting a Mission Statement by General George S. Patton Jr.
- Teaching Computer Science: Diversity for Girls Only
- Death Watch
- Informed Consent
- Fast Work
- Pesto Pete
- The Disconnect Between Hope and Reality
- Father-Son Wisdom
- Voice-Activated Copiers
- Home Runs
- Teaching Computer Science: Would Jesus Tow My Car?
- Overheard III
- Massive Accountability
- Completion Percentages
- Action is Eloquence
- Profiles in Management: The Baffled Bigwig
- The Great Chair Race
- The Prepared Mind
- Do You Read Me?
- More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of IV
- Hearing Voices
- Teaching Computer Science: No School After Halloween
- Automatic for the People
- Predicting the Unpredictable
- More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of V
- 51 Responses for the Software Professional
- An Open Letter to My Former Employer
- Profiles in Management: The Golfer
- Basically Done
- Best Practices
- How to Answer Interview Questions in 3 Easy Steps
- Email from a Bird
- Life Imitates HTTP
- Intelligent Appliances
- Every New Feature is a New Failure Point
- I’m Addressing the Shortage of Women in Technology
- I Know Lots of Different Languages
- A Ready Answer on Diversity
- The One-Sentence Motivator
- Standard Methods = Standard Results
- I’m Easily Annoyed
- Teaching Computer Science: Mindset
- The Perfect Summer Beverage
- Employee Surveys
- Overheard IV
- Pats on the Head
- Big Fishes in Small Ponds
- Overheard V
- Occupational Intensity
- Drowning in Chocolate
- Teaching Computer Science: Exam Tips from the Pros
- LinkedIn Recommendation I
- How to Get on My Bad Side
- Office Practical Jokes
- More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of VI
- Teaching Computer Science: Lessons Learned
- Overheard VI
- Overheard VII
- Genius or Geek?
- Teaching Computer Science: Those Who Don’t Like to Read
- Your Résumé is Quite Impressive
- With a Little Bit of Luck
- Teaching Computer Science: Ski Week
- By Way of Explanation
- Hey, Fat Ass!
- You Remind Me of Superman
- Teaching Computer Science: Pro Tips for Finishing a Project
- Ruby on Rails for Rubes
- More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of VII
- Unimpressed
- Overheard VIII
- Tradeoffs
- New TGIF Policy in Effect
- Skills Pretty Much Required
- Antipattern: Exactly on Schedule
- Falling Down Stairs
- Profiles in Management: The Poker Face
- More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of VIII
- Overheard IX
- April Fools
- A Sad Case
- Teaching Computer Science: Incentives (or Lack Thereof)
- Teaching Computer Science: The Last Minute
- We Don’t Have the Money, So We Have to Think
- LinkedIn Recommendation II
- How Are You?
- Changing Requirements
- Talking to Recruiters
- Overheard X
- Teaching Computer Science: Combating Procrastination
- Presentation Tips: Get to the Fucking Point
- Overheard XI
- Teaching Computer Science: Extra Credit
- Teaching Computer Science: Ask More Questions
- Roseville
- A Project Management Question
- Bad Interview Question
- Hiring the Best
- Teaching Computer Science: The Last Day
- Overheard XII
- My Next Career
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