My Brain has a Mind of its Own
My Brain has a Mind of its Own
A celibration of creative orthinologies
About the Book
This book is the culmulation of a hobby that has delighted the auther for many years, namely the obsurvation and compilcation of such creative orthinologies as mexed and mangled mitaphors, aggregiated clichés, spoonerisms, malapopisms, eggcorns, mondegreens, typpos, mispellings and other errors of orthogrophy, overexaggerations, repitititive redonedancies, miss quotations, and varied and sundried other forms of verbal garblement. I have gotten great joy from the contempulation of them, and it is my hope (and my expectoration) that they will ring a chord with you the reader as well, and that you will be, perhaps, fully entranted, or if not, at least amused and in some degree instracted, by them.
The creativity that perveates these confutious products of the unconscious mind is truely bindmoggling. They come in a mulplicity of shapes, sizes, and kinds, running the gamlet from
* Insiduous subtleties that you probably won’t even reckonize unless you put them in your thinking cap and smoke on them for a while, through
* Twiddly little blips and infantismal missteps that only a strickler would notise, things that are just a tadge off normal, to
* Blatently ovbious bloops and indiosynchratic oddities, some definitely snort-worthy, all the way to
* Completely absurved weirdities that jump out from somewhere in the fourth demention and hit you between the headlights and the sledgehammer.
There’s something for a little bit of everyone here.
About the Author
Table of Contents
* Prefice....................................................................................... p. v The Joy of Orthinology, also, recognition of various and sordid contibrutors.
* Intraduction ........................................................................... p. ix What happens when somedy tries to speak or write incoherant terms, but Murhpy’s law takes over, making things go all wayword.
* Table of Contence................................................................ p. xii
* Chapter I: The Brain as the Locust of Human Thought p. 1 A sort of lingustic essey on the topic of orthinology. Higly detailed, though hopefully not ovally so.
* Chapter II: Medicle Misadventures I............................... p. 27 This is the first enstalment of two conversations on medical matters; see also Chapter 8. This chapter deals with the whoas of a regular biscuit case of a hypercardiac named Walter whose always making mountains out of manholes.
* Chapter III (3): Report to the Bored............................... p. 33 This chapter celebrates the the phenomenom of saying the same thing over again twice.
* Chapter IV: Strong Verbs We Have Knewn and Lovedp. 41 Things that stroke us as odd, such that we froke out when we first herd them.
* Chapter V: Psych Cession I: Trauma in Real Life ........ p. 47 Chapters V and X are a cerial presentation of exploratory confrensations between a psychiatrust and a patient. This chapter deals with what the background the patient looks like comes from.
* Chapter 6: Operational Policy and Procedure Manual; Server Whether Extremes; Tornadoes, Hurricane................................................................................ p. 57 A consendation of the Manual porvided at a goverment institution in the U.S. re responding to emergencys. (If you are at this institution, you’d better hope a server emergency doesn’t happen, for which you need to check the Manuel.)
* Chapter VII: Newscaste...................................................... p. 63 How much of the news is rendered unfit to print. See allso Ch. XI
* Chapter VIII: Medical Misidventures II.......................... p. 73 See Chapter III. The conversation continues regarding a fellow who drinks himself into Bolivia every weekend.
* Chapter 9: A Fabrocation of Factiods ............................ p. 81 E.g., did you know that the sunrise also sets?
* Chapter X: Psych Cession II: Crossing the Genderation Gap p. 85 See Chapter V. This time Doc and Pat bite the bull by the horns and get down to the real Mickey Mouse of the matter: Pat’s relationships with women of the opposite sex.
* Chapter Xi: Wordwild News................................................ p. 93 Outstaggering foregin debt combines with repalling conditions and object poverty to produce tention that is paplable, while angry lynches and enraged mops roam streets filled with human waste and refuge.
* Chapter XIII: Dazed at Juan and Rosa’s Restaraunt.. p. 101 Serving up, for your dinning pleasure, a selectation of some of the mostly delicious and carefully prepared delicacies to be found anywhere in the world.
* Chapter XIV: Overherd in Church ................................. p. 107 Ludicrossities that we say at our most sinecure.
* Chapter XV: Vaction Travalogue................................... p. 123 An exiting adventure, including an aulminous encounter in a bandit warehouse that just might scare you shiftless and make all the hair stand up on the back of your end.
* XVI: Afterward: On the Pervasity of the Practice of Orthinology........ p. 139 Offers reasurrance that boopers are not about to dissapear from the earth; we are, in fack, just scratching the tip of the iceberg.
* Ammendum and List of Erotta........................................ p. 143 A final addendix providing a fitful end to the book.
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